The Building Inspector

The building had to be as it was

Before, when it first was built,

So the Inspector said to me,

I was mortgaged up to the hilt,

We’d already changed some minor things

They’d stand, he said, in the way,

We couldn’t move in till they were changed

Reversed, to our mute dismay.

He screwed the permit into his hat

And clamped it down on his head,

‘Where are we going to sleep tonight?’

‘That’s not my fault,’ he said.

He’d locked us out of our only home

With it only half rebuilt,

Then driven off as he sneered and coughed,

‘Are you trying to feed me guilt?’

We’d lodged our plans seven months before

To rebuild a nest of rooms,

The Council never got round to it

So they left us mired in gloom,

We couldn’t wait for their paperwork

So we just got on, and ‘did’,

We toiled by night in the after light,

In the day, just lay and hid.

Then when the paperwork finally came

It covered a room too short,

They charged full odds for their office clods

But for plans, their worth was nought.

Back he came on a day of shame

To demand we tear it down,

That extra room that had fed our gloom

So I said, ‘You go to town!’

I handed over a hefty pick

And I said, ‘It’s up to you.

I wouldn’t touch it myself,’ I said,

‘But you do what you must do.’

I didn’t tell him of Cranston Leigh,

The ghost of that room out there,

I should have said, but then Cranston’s dead

So the end result was fair.

He laid about him with pick and axe

And he tumbled half a wall,

Before first hearing the screech from Hell

That was Cranston’s warning call.

I saw the Inspector’s hair rise up

Like an early crop of rye,

And that was even before the ghost

Screeched out, ‘You’re gonna die!’

I’ll never forget the scene that night

The Inspector burst in flames,

While Cranston, from the unholy dead

Leapt in and out of our drains,

That room still stands, it’s unfinished still

The Inspector will not call,

We left a poster of Cranston Leigh

As a Welcome, out on the wall.

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Another eerie tale...well written...

[andrew mitchell]

A great story David around a campfire telling the kids lol. Nice as always David

[Valentine]

Hitting this again..Valentine

[Celie Rose]

I really enjoyed reading your poem. Creepy kinda makes you wonder. Excellent!

[Valentine]

Fantastic write. I even got a few chuckles out of it. Valentine

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahah viva le Cranston!! :) i use to build and know these "inspectors" well ... grrrrrr! but that was long ago .. and i do forgive them ... ;) love the in and out of drains scene!
E.

[R Smith]

excellent David, the end of petty inspector intrusions, send Cranston to every town hall, great fun and ghostly to, loved it :)

[David Scott]

Gearing up for Autumn I see.
A fine tale with a hint of truth and just enough embellishing to keep the town fathers wondering.
Good to read your fine poetry today David.

[ThePoetDarkling]

Perfectly creepy, as usual! Another DLP masterpiece!