The Bad Timekeeper

They’d shovelled her husband into the ground

Before she got to the grave,

She wasn’t able to keep good time

And her husband used to rave:

‘I spend my life, waiting for you,

You’ll be late for your funeral,’

That wasn’t due, but it may come true,

She was late for his, do tell!

 

He wasn’t a very pleasant man

He was known for his violent moods,

She’d married the guy, then wondered why,

He was often downright rude.

She knew what he was capable of

For he’d often flipped his lid,

And left a trail of destruction then

For that was the thing he did.

 

If only she had got to the grave

In time for a swift goodbye,

And with a spray, sent him away,

She may have just heard him sigh.

But he must have known she was still at home

When the hearse, with him inside,

Arrived at the local cemetery

On time, but without his bride.

 

She lay awake in the bed that night

And thought she could hear him breathe,

Just across from her pillowcase

And her breast began to heave.

The wind sough-soughed at the windowsill

And she heard a step on the stair,

She wished for once she had been on time

To know she had left him there.

 

But she hadn’t seen the coffin drop

And the hole was almost full,

She’d asked that they uncover it

But she didn’t have the pull.

She only hoped he was six feet down

Unable to get back out,

When there was a rattle, out on the porch

And she heard a dead man shout.

 

‘Late, you’re late, you’re always late,’

It moaned, in an eerie tone,

‘You couldn’t get to the grave on time

So you left me all alone.

You’d not come even to say goodbye

And for that, you’ll pay the price,

For I’ll reach out of the grave tonight

And I promise, it won’t be nice!’

 

The shutters began to rattle and bang

And the door flew out, ajar,

The wind howled in like a taste of sin

‘I know just where you are!’

She shrieked, and pulled the covers up

And placed them over her head,

‘You just can’t stay, please go away,

You can’t be here, you’re dead!’

 

The covers were torn from her huddled form

And from what the coroner said,

‘Her face was white, she died of fright,’

Curled up in her lonely bed.

There was just one thing in the autopsy

That was missed, and he made a note,

The thing was botched, for her husbands watch

He found, was lodged in her throat.

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Barbz]

She was late for his funeral, she was always late, but was he, in fact, dead? It was too late to see if he was, indeed buried, for the already covered casket. He was quite an unpleasant, rude and violent man, who often "flipped his lid".....was the lid he flipped that of his coffin, and was her husbands watch in the dead widows throat the Revenge effect? WOW, so many questions.....makes for such a great read......although, at times, bone chilling....but sough sough good, LoL. Barbz

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Another chilling tale...you have a knack for chilling tales...great job David.

[andrew mitchell]

A clever write David with a humorous twist like a Alfred Hitchcock Tale. I liked It! lol

[R Smith]

another great story David, the ghostly return to vent his anger on his wayward wife is a brilliant twist to her tale of woe and the watch in her throat, now that was a perfect end for the wretched woman hahaha

[Marie]

I laughed when I finished this, though it certainly wasn't funny. I suppose her dead husband wanted to make sure that even if she was late to his funeral, she wouldn't be late for her own.

[Confuser]

David; I'm still laughing, and wish my dog would stop yapping. This was another great one, you've made me laugh again. I find when I read your poems, my eyes get wider, I'm even closer to the screen, anticipating the next line. Your poems are all well written, but your descriptions, detail and content are always intriguing and fabulous. The ending are always a slam dunk, and this one is no different. Your imagination is phenomenal. And I found myself thinking with this one as with others, they got what they deserved. Bravo!! Thank you: Dale

[Valentine]

You are so funny. He placed his watch there so she would never be late again. This one goes into my favorites. Great write. Valentine

[Lyndy]

I love this poem, it's an intriguing one! ^^

[Einstein Noodle]

quite the time keeper eh!? :) you kept me guessing the whole way thru .. another lilting story ... i believe you have the art pegged sir!! enjoyed reading ... especially like "sough-soughed" .... ;)
E.