Sin Binned

He’d only just raised the dustbin lid

When he saw the woman’s head,

And what had impressed him most was that

It felt as heavy as lead,

It looked on up with its open eyes

With a stare that couldn’t see,

Which made him fumble the lid and cry,

‘It certainly wasn’t me!’

 

He thought of the woman the head had been

Before they’d parted ways,

An older woman, but shorter now

Than he’d seen in former days,

He was on a nodding acquaintanceship

With the husband known as Jim,

And thought of him as a friendly bloke

But they’d still be hanging him.

 

He’d been on the rubbish round for years

So he knew most everyone,

But never a severed head before

Had been found on the rubbish run,

He hadn’t an axe to grind with Jim

It was just Jim’s lousy luck,

A man should allow for one mistake

So he tipped the head in the truck.

 

Then Jim came out and he waved at him

And he smiled, ‘Good morning, Joe.’

While Joe smiled back, and he gave a grin

And said, ‘How’s the missis, Flo?’

‘She’s gone a little bit flighty, Joe,

Gone off for a spell,’ he said,

‘That tongue of hers, it was getting worse,

I’ll swear she was off her head.’

 

‘Well, ain’t that just like a woman,’ said

The man with the empty bin,

‘I see you’re light on your rubbish, are

There other bits to put in?’

‘Plenty of time, I’ll see to it

For the next time you come back,

I haven’t had time to sort it out

But I’ll bring it out in a sack.’

 

The following week he got two legs

And the feet were fairly strong,

And after he dumped them in the truck

He drove two doors along,

The bin outside held another head

Of a girl he knew as Tweet,

‘It seems to be catching on, ‘ he thought,

As he drove along the street.

 

He didn’t think to report it

It was no concern to him,

He only collected the rubbish that

They placed in a standard bin,

There wasn’t a line in the regulations,

Not one that he’d read,

Of what to do when a bin was due

And it only held a head.

 

That street was becoming notorious

For the wives that went away,

Off for a spell to Dingley Dell

For a well earned holiday,

And Joe has quite a collection now

That lines his mantelpiece,

While Jane, his beau, says they’ve got to go,

Or she may well call the police.

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[alf]

Hi David. Do I have a macabre sense of humour or are you the one with black thoughts. Just love this!!!!! Had me wiping tears from my eyes as I read. This was so jolly well put together, my friend, but I do worry . . there may well be a spate of heads in rubbish bins all across the world!!!! Great, great read!!! alf

[Marie]

Actually I don't think Joe cut off those heads at all; he merely made it possible for other men to get rid of their wives is this most grisly way...

[Barbz]

It wasn't Jim with the Axe To Grind, at first I thought it so. Chopping off those ladies heads, collectables to Joe. He gave little thought to victims men, who would be judged for it, no regrets for what he did, Not a little bit! I trust there would be other heads, on the mantle, seated. If not for his girlfriend, Jane, his game might be repeated......DLP, you are a genius.....I hope I read you right! Amused, I am Barbz