Sin Binned

He’d only just raised the dustbin lid

When he saw the woman’s head,

And what had impressed him most was that

It felt as heavy as lead,

It looked on up with its open eyes

With a stare that couldn’t see,

Which made him fumble the lid and cry,

‘It certainly wasn’t me!’

 

He thought of the woman the head had been

Before they’d parted ways,

An older woman, but shorter now

Than he’d seen in former days,

He was on a nodding acquaintanceship

With the husband known as Jim,

And thought of him as a friendly bloke

But they’d still be hanging him.

 

He’d been on the rubbish round for years

So he knew most everyone,

But never a severed head before

Had been found on the rubbish run,

He hadn’t an axe to grind with Jim

It was just Jim’s lousy luck,

A man should allow for one mistake

So he tipped the head in the truck.

 

Then Jim came out and he waved at him

And he smiled, ‘Good morning, Joe.’

While Joe smiled back, and he gave a grin

And said, ‘How’s the missis, Flo?’

‘She’s gone a little bit flighty, Joe,

Gone off for a spell,’ he said,

‘That tongue of hers, it was getting worse,

I’ll swear she was off her head.’

 

‘Well, ain’t that just like a woman,’ said

The man with the empty bin,

‘I see you’re light on your rubbish, are

There other bits to put in?’

‘Plenty of time, I’ll see to it

For the next time you come back,

I haven’t had time to sort it out

But I’ll bring it out in a sack.’

 

The following week he got two legs

And the feet were fairly strong,

And after he dumped them in the truck

He drove two doors along,

The bin outside held another head

Of a girl he knew as Tweet,

‘It seems to be catching on, ‘ he thought,

As he drove along the street.

 

He didn’t think to report it

It was no concern to him,

He only collected the rubbish that

They placed in a standard bin,

There wasn’t a line in the regulations,

Not one that he’d read,

Of what to do when a bin was due

And it only held a head.

 

That street was becoming notorious

For the wives that went away,

Off for a spell to Dingley Dell

For a well earned holiday,

And Joe has quite a collection now

That lines his mantelpiece,

While Jane, his beau, says they’ve got to go,

Or she may well call the police.

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[alf]

Hi David. Do I have a macabre sense of humour or are you the one with black thoughts. Just love this!!!!! Had me wiping tears from my eyes as I read. This was so jolly well put together, my friend, but I do worry . . there may well be a spate of heads in rubbish bins all across the world!!!! Great, great read!!! alf

[Terrence Chang]

Great write Mr David. I must say Check the bin, you may never know what you can find

[andrew mitchell]

A hilarious read which at times has some weight to the matter when one ponders lol must of been a quiet town !

[A Soap Mess Stories]

I'll have to check my rubbish bins after I read this one...excellent work, David.

[Avinash]

Somebody should think of career change. It is similar feeling in the corporate world when you find yourself taking care of garbage created by others. Some severed head may pop up here and there occasionally but not in exact literal sense.

[Sindu]

I'm worried for Jane! Some street that is, housing those. Who would've thought rubbish runs can get so interesting and resulting in quite a collection. Dark, shocking and funny tale David. Also what Nisreena wrote is true too, a shocking realisation. But let's safely say it's limited to couple of them and your amazing poems.

[ANTO]

Gomez and Morticia Adams put on the Witness protection program - sent to England only to find a cul-de-sac full of like-minded ghouls. Or maybe a big insurance scam that all were profiting from. Or maybe ......just great fun DLP.
I really enjoyed the absurdity of this.

[R Smith]

Really dark humour here David, did the bin man actually collect the heads and keep them on his mantelpiece, its wildly funny when his girl can only complain rather than run for the hills haha, this is one of your funniest/weirdest stories yet, full credit to you for the imagination that produces such masterful work.......not smoking anything funny are you David ? lol

[B]

The spread of malicious crime
Uncontrolled
I see more to your words than just a poem
The loss of human values
Over reacting to angry situations
Taking away lives

Essentially putting all our head in rubbish bins
Our thoughts, values, morality, dreams

I see more
I could be very wrong
but this is my simple head still intact and not in a rubbish bin

[Valentine]

Lined up on his mantle piece!!!!! It looks like Jim wasn't the only one allowed just one mistake. I was looking for some serious ending and instead got a good laugh. Thank you..Valentine