The Last Kiss

‘I always wanted to see your face,’ she said,

She was teasing me,

I’d gone along to our twentieth wake

Since we’d been divorced, and free.

We got on better than ever we had

When chained together in time,

That piece of paper had choked us both

But being apart, sublime!

 

I looked across at the massive cake

They had wheeled across the floor,

‘Now that’s what I call a giant bake,’

I said. She said, ‘There’s more!’

There were twenty candles around the top

And seven around the lip,

The twenty since we had been divorced

And seven for when we flipped.

 

The seven year itch was what it was

When we ended up in court,

We really should have got over it

But we’d given it little thought,

For the plumber lasted a month or two

She confessed, in one of her gripes,

For she got bored with him on the floor

Checking her taps and pipes.

 

And I got sick of the Dolly Bird

Who had lisped, she would be mine,

Who liked to strip to the Beatles hits

When her head was full of wine,

It all fell flat when the passion died

And we stopped to get our breath,

There was nothing she had to say inside

So she bored me half to death.

 

We came together just once a year

As a mark of our mistake,

And every year with the slightest tear

We would share a Parting Cake.

I’d never seen one as big as this

It was white, and frilled with lace,

And that’s when Jennifer said to me,

‘I wanted to see your face!’

 

The lid flipped up and the stripper rose

As I dropped my jaw, and gaped,

She stood a moment and struck a pose,

‘That’s my present for you, Jake!

It’s a bit too late to apologise

For making that awful scene,

But I think we’re older now, and wise,

And you get to lick off the cream!’

 

The girl was covered in cream all right

On her thighs and hips and breast,

‘You get to lick what you want tonight

And I’ll scrape off the rest.’

She laughed, I laughed, and I saw her then

As the face of one I’d missed,

There was little thought of the stripper then

As we both leaned in, and kissed.

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[ANTO]

Im a romantic devil like the speaker here so I would definitely have ignored the poor stripper too - she'd have had to clean that cream off on her own - probably a first lol. But you told this tale so well I wanted them to get back together - even after all those years. A very good friend of mines did just that and I see them together always now - and its beautiful to see, everytime because I have some photos of their wedding do, which was such a great day out.

You put this together like Barbara Cartland, David, you old softie !!
I loved it!
Thanks for the RR my eclectic friend.

[A Soap Mess Stories]

The last kiss before parting ways...

[R Smith]

like it David, a tender reunion and all thanks to a stripper, now that's got to be a first :)

[MomzillaNC]

A playful and weirdly romantic tale… you just want to see them back together! Glad to have the stripper forgotten. Though,I half thought maybe she was talking from inside the cake herself! That would've been something!

[Marie]

That is what I consider a very satisfactory love poem, though I am not a romantic. My ex-husband and I get along fine now, and it's been 30 years since we divorced. No chance of our every getting back together, of course.

[Valentine]

Laughing, and just how many guys would have passed up licking the cream off of that stripper. I do not even know if my husband could have resisted that. Although he always preferred pie instead of cake. Valentine

[Jane Winters Rogers]

Lol! This poem is so funny!! "Checking her taps and pipes" and " dolly bird " I like your playfulness...
Good one!

[Einstein Noodle]

what a smile your poem has given me .. thank you!
oh that 7 year itch ... its as real as the mistake of it .. i have watched in horror as a brother-in-law, a cousins husband, a cousin have given in .. and the fire sought is quickly erased and the dream of something better vanished in a wisp ... leaving everyone holding empty bags .. another fine story in a poem!
E.