Double Jeopardy

It was always a hassle on Fridays

To sort my weekends out,

If Angela said, ‘Those are my days,’

Then it left me in no doubt.

I would have to travel to Moira,

Come up with a good excuse,

‘I couldn’t drive to the north, my dear,

I have a wheel bearing loose!’

 

So I’d have to put the car on a jack

And then unscrew the wheel,

Take my time in putting it back

I had to make it real.

Then Monday kissing her and the kids

A fond and a long goodbye,

‘Make sure you wear your bicycle lids,

I’ll see you, bye and bye.’

 

And Angela would welcome me home

She’d had a rough weekend,

She’d taken the kids to their grandma’s, then

Had tended a sickly friend.

We had three days to rumple the bed

Until I had to go,

Arriving back at Moira’s, just in time

To take in a show.

 

It wasn’t a set routine because

It varied from week to week,

Angela was the stay-at-home,

Moira the dancing freak,

I’d married Angey at twenty-one

For she loved to stay at home,

And Moira, wed just five years on

Who always wanted to roam.

 

I managed to keep the two apart

And I led a varied life,

A quiet romp with the stay-at-home,

A fling with my roaming wife,

But the kids had come, with three for one,

And two for the other half,

And what once seemed the perfect dream

Became an ironic laugh.

 

Lucky I had a well-paid job,

Lucky I held it down,

Keeping the one a stay-at-home

While the other raged in town,

I thought I must be the only one

To have complicated my life,

But that was until a man called Bill

Spoke of his second wife.

 

He must have been drunk, he said he was

Or he wouldn’t have said a thing,

He said that it only started off

As a mad, misguided fling,

He’d met the first in a ladies bar,

And she’d gone to his lonely bed,

It became a loose, irregular thing

And before he knew, was wed.

 

She always wanted to gad about,

She never would stay at home,

He got so sick of the nightclub clique

That he lost the will to roam.

He met another who liked to sit

And cuddle up by his side,

And in a moment of madness then

She became his second bride.

 

‘It seems to work, but it’s hard to plan

For they both have days away,

I have to coordinate my time

With the one that’s free that day.’

‘The same with me, I’m never free,

I haven’t sufficient time,

When I want a quiet night at home

She wants to dance the line.’

 

A week went by since our talk, and I

Was sat in the Scarlet Lounge,

Waiting for Moira to come by

When I spotted Bill with Ange!

They walked right by, and I heard a sigh

As Bill saw Moira Freeze,

I hid behind a pillar as Ange

Went off by herself to sneeze.

 

I waited till she was on her own

Then went and confronted Ange,

‘What are you doing here, my dear,

Here in the Scarlet Lounge?

You always wanted to stay at home

Are you on your own out here?’

While Bill on the other side of the lounge

Was questioning Moira dear.

 

So Moira was Bill’s quiet one

While she led me quite a dance,

And Ange, who was my stay-at-home

Was going with him to prance!

We thought that we were the bigamists

But it’s left us in some doubt,

We think that they may be trigamists

On the days that we’re both shut out!

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[JerryB]

Gotta love it and I do. "trigamists," eh? A new word for Websters I'm thinking, David. Just goes to prove one . . . er . . . two things, you can absolutely never know what is behind a set of eyes. As do we keep secrets so do our women, even though they may not be the same as Ange and Moira, there are still secrets even in the most sedate . . .

[Jane Winters Rogers]

I am laughing, what a sense of fun you see in life who are the ladies going to be with during their "off
Night's.....really funny

[Vishuddha]

Well, I knew it was coming but only because I know your work - and where else could it go? But, very well done and lots of fun.

[Marie]

Wouldn't it be quadramists? Let's see, you've got two here, two here, two here, two here...and the ladies switch personalities, which makes two more...

A tangled web these folks did weave/When first they practiced to deceive...

[RomaJ]

I really enjoyed this poem clever ,witty brilliantly written as always but most of all it is totally Hilarious! Always a pleasure reading and rereading. Had me smiling the whole time:)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A constricting and re-telling of convolution, how fabulous!

[Valentine]

As I said on the other site!!!!! What is good for the goose is also good for the gander. I love your tales David. Kathie

[Frozen Eyes]

Seriously jeopardized.. nice write :)

[R Smith]

haha you certainly came up trumps here David, those two double crossers certainly got a double dose of their own medicine, loved this one just so much fun :)

[ANTO]

never did see the appeal of those trigonometrists in the suburbs with their car keys in the big bowl.

I love the 'Scarlet Lounge' - made me guffaw DLP

cool as.... my friend