Double JeopardyA Poem by David Lewis PagetIt was always a hassle on Fridays To sort my weekends out, If Angela said, ‘Those are my days,’ Then it left me in no doubt. I would have to travel to Moira, Come up with a good excuse, ‘I couldn’t drive to the north, my dear, I have a wheel bearing loose!’
So I’d have to put the car on a jack And then unscrew the wheel, Take my time in putting it back I had to make it real. Then Monday kissing her and the kids A fond and a long goodbye, ‘Make sure you wear your bicycle lids, I’ll see you, bye and bye.’
And Angela would welcome me home She’d had a rough weekend, She’d taken the kids to their grandma’s, then Had tended a sickly friend. We had three days to rumple the bed Until I had to go, Arriving back at Moira’s, just in time To take in a show.
It wasn’t a set routine because It varied from week to week, Angela was the stay-at-home, Moira the dancing freak, I’d married Angey at twenty-one For she loved to stay at home, And Moira, wed just five years on Who always wanted to roam.
I managed to keep the two apart And I led a varied life, A quiet romp with the stay-at-home, A fling with my roaming wife, But the kids had come, with three for one, And two for the other half, And what once seemed the perfect dream Became an ironic laugh.
Lucky I had a well-paid job, Lucky I held it down, Keeping the one a stay-at-home While the other raged in town, I thought I must be the only one To have complicated my life, But that was until a man called Bill Spoke of his second wife.
He must have been drunk, he said he was Or he wouldn’t have said a thing, He said that it only started off As a mad, misguided fling, He’d met the first in a ladies bar, And she’d gone to his lonely bed, It became a loose, irregular thing And before he knew, was wed.
She always wanted to gad about, She never would stay at home, He got so sick of the nightclub clique That he lost the will to roam. He met another who liked to sit And cuddle up by his side, And in a moment of madness then She became his second bride.
‘It seems to work, but it’s hard to plan For they both have days away, I have to coordinate my time With the one that’s free that day.’ ‘The same with me, I’m never free, I haven’t sufficient time, When I want a quiet night at home She wants to dance the line.’
A week went by since our talk, and I Was sat in the Scarlet Lounge, Waiting for Moira to come by When I spotted Bill with Ange! They walked right by, and I heard a sigh As Bill saw Moira Freeze, I hid behind a pillar as Ange Went off by herself to sneeze.
I waited till she was on her own Then went and confronted Ange, ‘What are you doing here, my dear, Here in the Scarlet Lounge? You always wanted to stay at home Are you on your own out here?’ While Bill on the other side of the lounge Was questioning Moira dear.
So Moira was Bill’s quiet one While she led me quite a dance, And Ange, who was my stay-at-home Was going with him to prance! We thought that we were the bigamists But it’s left us in some doubt, We think that they may be trigamists On the days that we’re both shut out!
David Lewis Paget © 2015 David Lewis PagetFeatured Review
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