Threatening Rain

It was threatening rain for a week or more

It was always threatening rain,

The Weather Bureau was always sore

When the threatening rain never came.

We’d hold an open air barbecue

Each time they said it would come,

‘Hey it’s gonna rain,’ said Oliver Payne,

‘What do they think, we’re dumb?’

 

But the Bureau Chief, one Adrian Reef

Said he was sick to the core,

Why wouldn’t the weather behave itself

Like it had done before,

‘It’s making us look like a laughing stock,’

He bitterly said to Jane,

‘I want you to ring up the airport now

And charter a small, light plane,’

 

He loaded the plane up with dry ice

And a generous load of salt,

And lugged along an elephant gun,

The plane took off with a jolt,

He peppered the clouds with ice that day,

He put his job on the line,

The last thing he wanted to have to say:

‘The weather is going to be fine.’

 

And down on the ground at the barbecue

We were sizzling snags and steak,

Having an ice cold beer or two

And trying to stay awake.

The sultry weather was drowsy then

We’d heard the report, in vain,

But just when the steaks were nicely done

It came down, bucketing rain.

 

We didn’t have time to pack it up,

We couldn’t save snags or steak,

In only a couple of minutes there

We were staggering round in a lake,

And Oliver’s esky floated away

With the rest of the beer we’d bought,

While we took shelter as best we could

Under cover of Maggie’s porch.

 

The water rose right up to our knees,

Our cars were afloat that day,

The chickens drowned and the old hearth hound

Was found seven miles away,

While on the Teev was the Bureau Chief

With a grin that was not quite sane,

He knew he’d won with his elephant gun,

‘The sky is threatening rain!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Marie]

Well the Bureau Chief (one Adrian Reef) evidentally knew how to make good on a threat. He won't be ignored again.

In South texas we never have the "threat" of rain; we have the "promise" of rain...

We could use Adrian Reef...

[Sindu]

Chief showed them! though in an exaggerated sense of desperation. This had me laughing. Hah.. all the beer floated away and food gone..

[R Smith]

great one David, rain , rain, rain, that's my life here right now so this is really topical lol, more excellent story telling from your magic pen :)

[ANTO]

That fellow oliver is a Payne in the neck mate !
Ruined that barbie - at least the amber nectar was saved.
Im laughing - poor old dog 7 miles away heh heh
Cool DLP

[Alisa Js]

Aloha,

Very well done. Although I typically write in free verse and not generally a fan of rhyming poems, I love this one.

Excellent!

Alisa

[Barbz]

we in California pay no attention to the weather forecasts......the weather advisors are always predicting the "possibility" of inclement weather........never happens!! I do, however, remember, living in NewYork City, and my neighbor decided to re pave his large driveway by himself. After renting a cement mixer, he accomplished this Herculean feat. As he pounded his chest for the pride, the sky opened up and he was struck with disbelief.......the clap of thunder that followed was his booted foot smashing his glass storm door......I trust he would have preferred a ruined picnic....... Your poem took me back....thank You....Very Enjoyable.......Barbz

[Valentine]

Want to trade all of this Michigan snow for some of that rain? I reviewed this on another site. Kathie

[Cambion]

Ha! They threaten snow around here all the time! Whenever even one flake is predicted, they put the warning lights on around town and start issuing dire ultimatums about ticketing and parking. I think it's a revenue scheme. Sometimes I think I see snow plows fighting to plow the same flake of snow.

As for the flood, I myself survived a flash flood when I was a kid, so it brought back some impressions of that time. Harrowing stuff!

Finally, the idea of losing steaks just about off the grill... this thought injures me. Take me, instead, cruel rain god - but not the steaks! (hehe)

A pleasure to read as always, Mr. Paget.

[MomzillaNC]

LMBO! He showed them all!

Ala Elmer Fudd: Sh-sh-sh! He hunting wain! Haa-aa-aa-aa-aa!