The Guilt Trip

The storm outside was abating, or

He thought that it was, at first,

He’d only gone to the pub with Joe

To slake a raging thirst.

They’d both been out on the landfill

And it was humid through the day,

So Joe said, ‘Bet I can race you there

And put two pints away!’

 

But the storm had built as they drank in there

And the rain came down in sheets,

Then hailstones peppered the windows and

Joe said, ‘It’s turned to sleet!

I think we’re not going anywhere

‘Til the storm has passed and gone,

We might as well have another..

And it’s your shout,’ he said to John.

 

They’d known each other forever, and

Had married two sisters, late,

They’d both been into their thirties,

Sister Jean and sister Kate.

While one of them was a loving match,

The other one was mean,

And Joe said, ‘would you consider a swap,

My Kate for her sister, Jean?’

 

So John had laughed, but he looked away

For he knew that Joe was sore,

For Kate was never the bargain that

His mate was looking for.

Her tongue was sharp, though he knew her bark

Was worse that her fabled bite,

For John was meeting Kate in the dark

When they both were alone at night.

 

He’d kick himself, for he knew that Jean

Was the love match of the pair,

But she tended to work at night so much

That she often wasn’t there,

And Joe would stay at the pub so late

That they had to throw him out,

He didn’t have cause to go back home

So he stayed until last shout.

 

The storm continued to rage outside

So they both got worse for drink,

And the talk died down as they sat and frowned,

They both had time to think.

‘We’re always going to be mates,’ said John,

‘I hope that you think so too.’

‘We’re side by side where we both belong

No matter what we might do.’

 

But the booze brought on a maudlin state

And it seemed to get to John,

‘It may be time to confess,’ he thought,

‘This deception can’t go on.’

‘I’ve something I have to tell you, Joe,

It’s time I was coming clean.’

But Joe stayed him, and he said, ‘Me first!

Old mate, I’ve been seeing Jean!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[ANTO]

"To slake a raging thirst." - WOW - what words man!
I'd have said "mary-jane and sister Kate" Dewi - it sounded like two nuns on the first read - thats probably my Catholic background being brought to bear though

LOL - the ending was classic D L P - brilliant !!

[TL Boehm]

i'm following up on what Anto said, nice twist at the end, David! I should have seen it coming but I didn't! Well done.

[Valentine]

Still laughing. Turn about is more than fair play ...isn't it. Another classic write with a fantastic ending. Kathie

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

When the hearts in love, morality takes a back seat, unless the head had the power to overrule. From the outside looking in, it's easy to judge; but from the inside looking out, I'm sure they each believed they were following their hearts.

[Marie]

In vino veratis. Or something like that.

Not one of these four sounds to be much of a bargain...

[Barbz]

Oh how I laughed and laughed at this piece of poetry. For I've heard stories of such, a few, that seems to number three. I think they shouldn't go there, no matter how much the schnapps. For it's hurtful anytime you choose to make these sort of swaps. Morality in days of yore, was there such a thing? You should know, you write of so, and keep us wondering..........Thank you for this type of entertainment....I shall Never tire of it..........Barbz

[R Smith]

nice twist David, the double crossing friends caught in their own guilt, well written :)

[Jennie Baron]

It's been way too long since I visited one of your tales, for which I apologize. They're always enjoyable. I agree with MomZ about the questionable morals of all four!

[MomzillaNC]

Moral turpitude by all around… I wouldn't want any one of the four of them for friends! Another very humorous tale of relationship foibles.