The Devil is in the Detail

When Alison left the bath to run

It ruined the parquet floor,

It spilled on out like a waterspout

And ran right under the door,

She’d gone back into the bedroom, so

The spill continued to run,

Across the landing and down the stair,

‘Now look what our daughter’s done!’

 

We couldn’t dry out the parquetry

It swelled, and loosened the glue,

Then bits would lift and would come adrift,

I didn’t know what to do.

Then Barbara said, ‘It’s coming up,

We shouldn’t have laid it down,

I’ll go and choose some ceramic tiles

At that tiling place in town.’

 

I said that I’d lay the tiles myself

But Barbara would insist,

‘We really need a professional

For a job as big as this.’

I shrugged, and let her get on with it

I never could win a trick,

So the tiler that she employed was one

Ahab Nathaniel Frick.

 

I’d seen this tiler about the town

All hunched, and wizened and old,

His wrinkled skin was like parchment in

Some leathery paperfold.

He wore a hat with a drooping brim

So the sun never touched his face,

A puff of wind would have blown him in

To leave not a hint, or trace.

 

‘Are you sure that he’s up to this,’ I said,

‘He isn’t the best of men,

He’ll probably get on his knees all right

But never get up again.’

But Barbara shushed me out of there

Was keeping me well at bay,

She wanted to prove what she could do

In laying the tiles her way.

 

I didn’t get in to see them then

‘Til the tiles were laid, with grout,

Nor see Nathaniel Frick again,

I supposed that he’d gone out.

I stood and stared at the new laid tiles,

Their pattern was in the floor,

And Barbara, waiting proudly said,

‘What are you staring for?’

 

‘There’s something a-swirl in those tiles,’ I said,

‘Some pattern you didn’t mean,

The way that he’s put them together, well

There’s a sense of something unclean!’

I said the tiles made an evil face

And showed her the curving jaw,

The squinting eyes that could hypnotise

And the cheeks, so sallow and raw.

 

She said that she couldn’t see it then,

That I must have twisted eyes,

I wasn’t wanting to hurt her so

I tried to sympathise,

But the monster’s face was set in space

And it wouldn’t go away,

I dreamt about that face by night

And I saw it, every day.

 

At night, the face seemed to snarl at me

When I passed it in the gloom,

And I worried that it was set right there

Outside our daughter’s room,

Then Barbara thought she heard a noise,

An intruder in the house,

And tipped me out of the bed to chase

The night intruder out.

 

The moans began in the early hours

And the groans came just at dawn,

Then Alison came into our room,

‘There’s a shadow on my wall!

A man with a broad-brimmed, floppy hat

And with squinting eyes that gleamed,’

I said, ‘That’s it,’ when she had a fit

And our darling daughter screamed!

 

I went on out to the lumber shed

And I brought a mattock in,

While Alison jumped in the double bed

As the tiles set up a din,

A wailing, groaning, squealing sound

That would raise the peaceful dead,

I raised the mattock and smashed the tiles

Just above the monster’s head.

 

The tiles rose up with a mighty roar

And shattered, scattered around,

As a shadow from underneath the floor

Rose up with a dreadful sound,

It hissed, and made for the stairway, leapt

And it almost made me sick,

For fleeing out of the open door

Was Ahab Nathaniel Frick!

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Marie]

Obviously Barbara didn't get him off Craig's list.

If you want reliable work done, it's best go go on the Internet. Otherwise you could end up with something evil. They were lucky to have gotten rid of him when they did. Otherwise, what might he have done to the house?

[A.J.]

I love the realism and directness of this sort of poetry; as well as I enjoy "the devil" thrown in there ever so cleverly. This speaks of someone well versed in writing and worthy of immense admiration. Very well done sir.

[A Soap Mess Stories]

An entertaining tale...you always know how to keep one glued to your epic poems...

[MomzillaNC]

Well, that'll make me think twice about the tiled floors in my house and all the patterns I'm always imagining there!

[Valentine]

You are so filled with imagination. How you keep coming up with these well written and thought out Gems is amazing. For sure there is only one David..Keep them coming PLEASE...Kathie

[R Smith]

remind me not to ask Barbara to lay some tiles please David, but did she put Ahab under them or was it some weird trick of magic he worked into them, whichever i'm scared now....I've got a TILED FLOOR!!!!!