Heaven, Hell, or the Highway

Solomon thought he was doing well

His assets just grew and grew,

He had no moral imperative

While ripping off me and you,

He’d made a fortune in stocks and shares

And a little insider trading,

Had married, divorced, with a bit to spare

For his extra-marital mating.

 

He wasn’t exactly a murderer

Though he’d peddled horse and hash,

If someone died he would say they lied,

He needed the extra cash.

He was at his prime and was feeling fine

At the age of forty-two,

When an evil bloke with a scythe and cloak

Said, ‘I’ve been looking for you!’

 

The sudden shock was a heart attack

The pain caught him by surprise,

He thought he might buy him off, but saw

The implacable, staring eyes.

The guy said, ‘I’m just the messenger,

You’re going away, it’s sad!

You’ll have to leave it behind, you know

But you can’t complain, you’re bad!’

 

He found himself on an open road

That was either up, or down,

He thought, with the wisdom of Solomon

He'd try the high end of town,

But a clerk with wings at a Pearly Gate

Said, ‘First you must come by me,’

Pulled out a plate that was headed ‘Fate!’

‘I have to check your CV!’

 

He read, and mumbled and held him there,

And whispered under his breath,

‘This can’t be right, you shouldn’t be here,

You suffered an early death!

You haven’t had time to mend your ways

But the rules are more than clear,

You’ve not enough points on the ‘Goody’ side

So you won’t be welcome here!’

 

He pointed to way, way down on the road

Where there shimmered a reddish glow,

‘They might be more than amenable

To letting you in, you know.’

So Solomon turned, his heart in his throat

And he made the long trek down,

To a surly goat in a pigskin coat

Who greeted him with a frown.

 

He tried to enter but, ‘Not so fast!’

The goat had stood in his way,

‘I have to check your CV you know,

Before you get in today.’

He read and mumbled and held him there

And whispered under his breath,

‘There’s not enough evil here to spare

With you guys from a premature death.’

 

‘It’s sad,’ he said, ‘but you can’t come in,’

He said in a voice so gruff,

‘You’re bad, I see, but your history?

You’re simply not bad enough!

I have to be able to justify

That you’ve earned more than you can handle,

It’s a serious thing, for eternity,

To make you a Roman Candle.’

 

So Solomon found himself out in the cold

On a long and deserted highway,

With all of the others rejected there

Who’d said they would do things ‘My way!’

If only they’d thought before they died

What they’d need for a clear admission,

The goat would have welcomed them all inside

As a lawyer, or politician!

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

I love the way you doom him to purgatory and castigate all that's wrong with humanity at the same time! The casual, complacent wrong that men do, telling themselves they have time to change and make up for all the greed and self-indulgence of their existences.

[Avinash]

When we master the ways of the world we often forget that we are never supposed to forever belong here. With us only our deeds will go. By the way it was nice to know the rules of the pearly gate :)

[A Soap Mess Stories]

What a wonderful view on heaven and hell. To think that we are neither good enough for heaven nor bad enough for hell. Great story telling, David.

[Marie]

Reminds me--as I suppose y ou meant it to--of Solomon in the Bible. He certainly had his faults, but many good points too. I suppose the highway is some kind of purgatory.

Be;ieve it or not, I've done business with two very nice lawyers.

[Luximir]

Wow such an amazing write! I love the great story you portrayed about such an infamous character like Solomon. You really have an amazing way to tell a story through the form of a poem. Thank you for sharing such a great work of yours :)

[Zahra]

Amazingly written as ever. Really very nice...

[R Smith]

haha love this one David, those poor lost souls in the limbo of neither being good or bad, wandering the road till when? Brilliant writing my friend :)