The Sacrifice and the Cloud

The cloud hung over the mountainside

Like a black and evil pall,

It took the sun from the valley, and

It held the folk in thrall,

The crops lay dormant in the fields

For they wouldn’t ripen now,

The farmers down in the valley cried,

‘It has to go, but how?’

 

They’d watched the cloud as it gathered

Bringing a dark and fierce storm,

With hail that battered the tender shoots

And flattened the barleycorn,

They shook their fists at the darkening sky

At this untoward attack,

But the cloud had threatened them, by and by

When the lightning answered back.

 

Then thunder rolled down the mountainside

And it shook their rustic homes,

It rattled the beams and the rafters, and

Was felt in their feeble bones,

They thought the wind would blow it away

But the air up there was calm,

And still it hovered there, day by day

To blanket each valley farm.

 

The tiny Kirk was amass with men

Who’d never been there before,

In hopes that a sudden show of faith

Would bring their god to the fore,

But the cloud still leered from the mountaintop

For weeks, and it hung there low,

‘Perhaps the answer is not with God,

But the gods of long ago!’

 

The older men in the village thought

The answer might lie with Baal,

And some had prayed to the thunder god

But the answer they got was hail,

‘There must be something the elders knew

To bring such things to a stop.’

‘That cloud up there is the Wandering Jew

Who never may reap a crop.’

 

They racked their brains for the thing to do

And one of them wasn’t nice,

‘What we need is a virgin girl

To send up a sacrifice.’

So they seized a maid called Annabelle,

Whose parents were dead and gone,

And dragged her up to the mountaintop

In hopes it would move along.

 

But they weren’t too sure just what to do,

Should they play a chord with a lyre,

Should they sound a note, then cut her throat

And throw her corpse on a fire?

She screamed at the top of her voice, just once

And the sun came shining through,

‘I’ve not been a virgin now, six months,

But I wouldn’t be telling you!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Barbz]

I thought of all the farmers, and fears their hands were clutching, while waiting for disaster, of crops the hail was crushing. Of course, the wrath of god, would surely shake their dwell, and to the men who'd Use her, she smiled Go To Hell!! Scary, Funny , Master!! Barbz

[JayceeC]

Living in an agricultural community its hard not to know just how important that rain is and destructive it can also be. You pulled me in and then kept me interested in this little scenario from days past. loved the turn at the end. I always fall for it and they always make me laugh.

[Miss Sharon]

Great write that kept me enthralled from start to finish! I also enjoy rhyme every once in a while and it's nice to read in your story...it seams together effortlessly. ~Sharon

[ANTO]

"But they weren’t too sure just what to do,
Should they play a chord with a lyre,
Should they sound a note, then cut her throat
And throw her corpse on a fire? " - darkly brilliantly funny - like a Monty Python sketch David - I can imagine Eric Idle in a tizzy and John Cleese making out like he knew how to do sacrifices and Michael Palin as the 'virgin' Annabelle. Class, my friend !!

Thanks for the continued jollification David it is much appreciated.

[M.Babu]

Brilliant piece, sir! Enjoyed it.
~M.Babu~

[angelina]

The personification of nature was quite interesting. It shifted from one act of nature to another in reply to what the villagers did. Action = Reaction.
Your imagery is really outstanding by the way.
Another thought I had was of the fact that since Nature is considered a woman, it took another woman, Annabelle, for nature to calm.
In all, it reminds me of how fluid humans can be. Two thumbs up!!

[Penny]

Its funny the first two stanzas of the poem are very much like the Hindi poem 'Nirmaan'. A very nicely depicted story in a well balanced verse, this poem is truly a masterpiece. Very nice depiction of the storm and ignorance of the people had been done. The gradual change from the natural setting to the social one adds tonthe beauty of this piece. The end is surely the best part. Thanks for sharing tate.

[Frozen Eyes]

Bravo Anabelle! A very nice way to despise the practice of false faith and sacrifice. Liked reading top to toe :)

[LadyNaida]

Mother nature is harsh on the farm lands sometimes. Good read!

[Bright Ocean Star]

Ha-ha! This is fabulous! You make me laugh out loud. I love your writing. Again, a great and well written one. Very nice writing, my friend. I could read you for hours. Thank you for sharing this with us.