The Fifty Dollar Ride

We were way up there on the Ferris Wheel

When it came to a sudden stop,

We’d only got on for the final ride

And it left us up at the top.

‘What are they doing?’ said Imogen,

As we first began to doubt,

Then looking down to the distant ground

The lights of the Fair went out.

 

‘Surely they know that we’re still up here!’

There was panic in her voice,

I tried to bellow, and then to shout,

They had left us little choice.

The lights of the cars had streamed below

With the last ones, headed away,

The wind up there put a chill in the air

And the Wheel began to sway.

 

‘I think I’m going to be sick,’ she cried,

And I said, ‘Please, not on me!’

I wrapped her up in my coat and tried

To calm her misery.

‘It’s always the same with you,’ she said,

‘But it keeps on getting worse,

The moment we’re down, and on the ground

I’m going to get a divorce.’

 

We’d only gone on the Ferris Wheel

For a place to talk things out,

I wanted to get her away from home

To a place where she couldn’t shout.

She’d sworn she’d never divorce me that

She’d make life living hell,

I had to make her want a divorce

As much as me, as well.

 

‘So I get blamed for the Ferris Wheel,

Did I tell the guy to stop?

How could I know he’d forget us here

And leave us perched at the top?’

‘It always happens, you wired the stove

So the whole damn thing was live,

Then I got thrown when I switched it on,

It’s lucky I’m still alive.’

 

‘Then out in the boat, we nearly sank

When you put the boat in a spin,

It filled with water when you forgot

To put the drain plug in.’

‘I know, I know, I’m a jinx,’ I said,

It always happens to me,

Perhaps you’d better get a divorce

Then you’ll be finally free.’

 

We didn’t speak for a solid hour,

Sat as far apart as we could,

And then I lit up a cigarette

To dispel my cold, black mood.

Our marriage had really hit the pits,

It was never going to do,

I’d not been happy since Imogen

Had turned to a carping shrew.

 

I’d never done anything right for her,

And never could make amends,

She always tried to humiliate me

By telling all of her friends.

She said I was good for nothing, but

To give her my weekly cheque,

At times I barely restrained myself

From seizing her round the neck.

 

An hour went by, and the Wheel began

To take us down to the ground,

Someone had seen my cigarette

It seemed, said the man from town.

She shrieked and screamed as she stalked away

At the guy that I knew as Nick,

As I slipped him his fifty bucks, and said:

‘It seems to have done the trick!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Colorado Brian]

Your writing makes it so easy to imagine the scene. Extraordinary.

[A Soap Mess Stories]

What a surprising ending...it reminded me of a movie titled "Frozen" where three skiers were left forgotten on the ski lift as the ski resort was closing...another great tale, David

[Tate Morgan]

Oh man i had a woman like that once who always wanted to humiliate me in public i made short work of her had to let her go

[Marie]

This was a really good story. I didn't expect that ending; it certainly went well with the title.