Living for Now!

I’d driven along the cobbled street

And along to the village square,

When something had caught my attention, and

It was then I became aware,

I’d had vague thoughts of another life

That I’d lived in the distant past,

Was there something locked in my memory

That would tell me the truth, at last?

 

I didn’t remember who I was

My name, or even my face,

For five long years I’d hunted and searched

For a clue, a familiar place,

My life ‘til then was a total blank

I’d found myself by the sea,

Crawling up out of the water there

Was the first that I knew of me.

 

The war was just about over, and

Confusion had reigned supreme,

So much rubble and people dead

I couldn’t remember a thing,

The place I’d lived may well have been bombed,

I wandered the empty streets,

Of buildings, shattered to empty shells

Of craters, seven feet deep.

 

I found some clothes in a rubbled shop

For my own had been torn from my back,

There were burns all over my body,

Had I been caught in an air attack?

I went to the local hospital

Where the staff had treated my burns,

But they said they didn’t know who I was

So I left, and never returned.

 

I did odd jobs and I found a room

And I bought the News each day,

I checked the names on the missing lists

In the hopes I’d be found one day,

But I never saw a familiar face

Nor read a familiar name,

I’d given up when I drove on through

The village called Hamlin Dane.

 

I parked the car, next to the square

Where a cottage had caught my eye,

My heart was beating, loud in my chest

Though I stood and I wondered why,

Then a woman walked on out to the street

There was something familiar there,

She looked across and she caught my eye,

Then stopped and began to stare.

 

She walked, then ran right up to my side,

And then she began to cry,

‘My God, it’s you, just where have you been,’

Then stopped, and let out a sigh.

‘For five long years we thought you were dead,

So why have you come back now?’

I shook my head with a sense of dread,

I wanted to tell, but how?

 

Then fleeting visions came into my mind

Of a warm and a cosy hearth,

A loving woman beside me there

And a child that we’d christened Garth.

I tried to tell her I’d lost my mind,

My memories stirred just then,

She shook her head, ‘I’d like to be kind,

But I’ve just got married again.’

 

Then I was aboard a Lancaster

Heading on home from a raid,

We’d bombed the city of Frankfurt, and

The turret was shot away,

We limped back over the channel, then

Were hit with a burst of flack,

The plane went down in a burst of flame,

And I thought we’d never get back.

 

I was the only survivor, that

I knew, as we hit the sea,

The others went down with the crippled plane,

They wouldn’t be looking for me,

I stared at Joan and began to cry,

The tears were wet on my cheek,

‘I’m sorry, darling, I don’t know why

But the future is looking bleak!’

 

There was a time when I’d lived a life

That I’d lost and I don’t know how,

A wife, a son, and they’d turned their backs

And I can’t really blame them now.

She said it was best if I left that place,

She was married again, for sure,

So I stayed a week then I drove away,

I can’t even blame the war.

 

It’s sixty years, I stare at the hearth,

I never got married again,

My life flew by in a stream of tears

Of what I had lost, back then,

My son found out and he looked me up,

He said he was sorry, and how,

I hugged him close and I bit my lip,

And said, ‘I’m living for now!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I can only imagine how hollow one would feel to go through life not knowing who he is. To suffer the loss of his memory then to find his family only to lose it again is heart-rending. This character certainly pulls at the heartstrings. A glimmer of hope is found in his son. Love!

[Blue Ivory]

Wow this is really touching. Kinda reminded me of the story of Forrest Gump. I liked the journey. I found it funny how his memory returned right before he finds out his wife has married again though :P

[OTownPete]

Mesmerizing lyrical story telling at its best David. Your friend in words, Pete

[Tom]

Just some of the lesser known tragedies of war but no less emphatic for that !

[minisla]

Lost everything because of war very emotional stuff.

[Keith]

What a sad tale, I am sure there many instances where this was true. Cleverly told in the first person where we share the emotions. Another brilliant piece.

[TL Boehm]

oh my goodness - perhaps the most wrenching one I've read from you all because it can and does happen. A compelling write.

[Marie]

What a sad story...to lose memory and everything else...

And the war really was to blame...

[Sometimes Blood]

Goodness you write long poems. Kind of loses me in the middle because it gets a bit dull,but overall not too shabby a write

[Raya]

Excellent poem. It had a clear and captivating plot line. I absolutely felt for the main character and the whole poem told an amazing story. Keep writing!! :)

Was this about you? I only ask because of the last review. If it was I wish you didn't have to go through that. Everyone has demons in their past but the difference between you and them is you chose to reveal yours. And if this wasn't about you it was still a superb, heartfelt write.