The Laundromat

Paulette had phoned in a frenzy, she

Was having a crying fit,

I said, ‘I can’t understand you girl,

Slow down, slow down a bit!’

And then she told me that John was dead

That she’d found him lying there,

That somebody must have broken in

And crushed his skull with a chair.

 

‘The place is a perfect shambles, Rob,

It looks like a bomb has hit,

There’s blood all over the hearth, the hob,

And outside, over the grit,

He must have left by the patio door

There are footprints over the tiles,

I’ve never seen so much blood before…’

And then she sobbed for a while.

 

I made the appropriate noises, just

To comfort her in her loss,

But really, I couldn’t care at all,

I just couldn’t give a toss,

For John had jumped in my woman’s bed

The moment my back was turned,

I had to hide that I felt so glad

That all of his boats were burned.

 

‘I need you Rob, will you come on down,

I can’t do this on my own,’

Her words, the nectar of ancient gods

I felt that my wings had grown.

‘I’ll be there, honey, I won’t be long,

We’ll tidy it up just pat,

I just have something I have to do,

I’ll pop by the Laundromat.’

 

I tied the washing bag by the neck

To drag it out to the car,

But only got to the hallway when

There came a knock at the door,

A neighbour wanted to borrow a tool

So I rummaged round in the shed,

And when he went, I had to be gone,

Drove straight to my girl’s instead.

 

The police were crawling all over the place

And said that, ‘You can’t come in!’

‘I came express at my friend’s request.’

‘Too bad, but where have you been?’

I said I’d give them a statement, then

I shrugged and said, ‘That’s that!

Just tell Paulette I’ll come to her when

I’ve been to the Laundromat.’

 

The police were there at the Laundromat

When I sauntered in with the bag,

The sergeant stared and he pursed his lips

As my shoulders began to sag.

‘What’s that on the bag?’ he questioned me,

And I said, ‘it looks like mud!’

‘Now isn’t that strange, it seems to be

That your bag is seeping blood!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Ravyne Hawke]

Oh I wanted more! This was a mystery of a tale and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Well done, David.

[Tate Morgan]

OH well the best layed plans of mice and men. Women always have that way of putting the ring through our nose instead of on our finger lol

[TL Boehm]

almost the perfect crime.....but not quite.
You excel at story telling - I actually empathized with the poor guy.

[s y e]

I like how it's quite dark yet it has some comedy, too. Another great write from you, David.

~ Noodle.

[BlackRose]

The unfolded story. Getting caught 'red' handed er bagged. Great story to read.

[Sheila Kline]

Well, he certainly was unable to clean up his story at the laundromat -very good tale my friend! He tried to hide the evidence, but the evidence caught him!
Well done.....as always!

[Robert Lindsay]

Comedy and the dark side. He gave the game away by his strange priorities!

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Nice twist...loved the story David.

[Marie]

Actually I kind of guessd this from the first. Men aren't usually that anxious to go to the laundromat...

[Keith]

Another great tale, the words just seem to come so effortlessly to you.