When Peggity Pulled the Cord

Peggity was my sister’s friend

She certainly wasn’t mine,

Back in the days of British Steam

On the London and Midland line,

They sent us away for the holidays

And packed us onto the train,

‘Now you look after your sister, Dave,

And Peggity, just the same.’

 

We found an empty compartment and

Threw everything up on the rack,

Peggity dropped the window down

And I said, ‘You put that back!’

She danced around on the seats and smirked

As the steam puffed by in clouds,

The smell of sulphur was quite extreme

By the time that we got to Stroud.

 

We had to change at the junction there,

She threw my cap on the line,

The Stationmaster was not impressed

She said, ‘Well, it isn’t mine!’

She’d pout whenever I told her off

My sister couldn’t care less,

I said, ‘Why don’t you control your friend?’

My sister said - ‘Bad cess!’

 

Things got worse on the Bristol train

She swung from the luggage rail,

Stomped all over my homework, and

My sister let out a wail,

She’d trodden over her pleated skirt

That she’d got, brand new for the trip,

Peggity said, ‘He pushed me there,’

And my sister said, ‘You drip!’

 

She spilled a drink on the fabric seats

She trod all over my shoe,

I said, ‘If she doesn’t settle down

I don’t know what I shall do.’

She squelched a sandwich over the floor

My sister said, ‘Oh, fine!’

I said, ‘Well what are you wailing for,

That sanger was one of mine!’

 

She flounced around and she huffed and puffed

Said, ‘Peggity’s getting bored!’

She opened up the compartment then

And screamed up the corridor.

The conductor came and he shut the door

And waved his finger at me:

‘Keep her still or I’ll throw you off

Under Regulation three!’

 

I’d had enough so I pulled her down,

I sat on her on the seat,

She said, ‘I’m telling my Mum on you,

By gum, you’ve got smelly feet.’

I thumped her hard on the shoulder

And she howled, pushed me on the floor,

Jumped up and stood on the seat, and then

Peggity pulled the cord!

 

The brakes locked on with a screech of steel

As the train had screamed to a halt,

It threw us all in a heap while she

Was yelling, ‘It’s all your fault!’

I sat in awe for I’d never seen

A train pulled up with a clang,

I said, ‘They’re going to catch you now,

And when they do, you’ll hang!’

 

She screeched in fear and opened the door,

Then jumped right down on the line,

Ran right into a field of cows,

We thought they were, at the time,

But a big black bull then chased her round

And butted her over a hedge,

I laughed so much that I couldn’t stand

And nearly fell off the ledge.

 

The conductor came and he took our names

He said we were making a fuss,

My sister looked down her nose at him:

‘She’s nothing to do with us!’

She spent some time in the hospital

Lay flat in a hospital bed,

She never came out with us again,

‘It serves her right,’ I said.

 

I still remember that glorious sight

Of her sailing over the bush,

Doing a double somersault

And landing flat on her tush.

My sister told her to go away

When she came back, looking meek,

But she had to stand at the back of the class,

She couldn’t sit down for a week.

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Keith]

"I said, ‘They’re going to catch you now,
And when they do, you’ll hang!’"

I love that! We all have Peggitys in our lives and and wish them an unkind fate. Great rollicking yarn that rattles on to the rythym of the train on the tracks.

[Valentine]

Another great tale, I sometimes wonder what kind of a childhood you had to have developed such an active imagination. You are a superb writer..Valentine

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Another good story.

[Emerald Seas]

A fun read! What goes around comes around, as they say ;)

[annie lee]

Great fun. Is this rather like steam punk? Are you using a meter? Your rhymes seem effortless. I have never been accomplished at rhyming, but I used to dabble in iambic pentameter before I discovered Japanese forms.

[Tate Morgan]

Oh the Nellie Olsens of the world how they tempt both fate and our own sense of justice. I have met a few in my days. It seems they come to a fateful end and all around be praised

[Marie]

Served her right. I hope she was never allowed on the train line again.

[Lena M. P.]

Your humor is refreshing. I think I have bumped into more Peggity's in my life than I care to remember. I have always wanted to personally tan their hides. Wonderful write.

[Saumya]

pegitte was such a wonderful, adventurous, interesting, and at the ome time,irritating girl.....!!!
but honestly, i enjoyed my journey alooooooooooooooooot with peggite...!!!!
this poem again, is exceptionally outstanding...!!!!

[quinfinn]

sounds like (excuse the pun here but i honestly can't help myself) poetic justice to me! David, this was great fun to read and i find myself hoping every word is true. well done!