The Rhymers Club

On a Friday night at the Rhymers Club

They meet at the Gun & Whale,

They take a seat and they all compete

By telling the tallest tale,

They vote whenever the night is done

For which was the best, and worst,

But all agree that the best, you see,

Must always be told in verse.

 

There’s Sean McGee, with tales of the sea

In the days of the Cutty Sark,

When sails were billowing wide and free

And men kept watch in the dark,

For deep beneath the Atlantic swell

Was a squid, the size of a ship,

With tentacles that could wrap round tight

And make it their final trip.

 

Dan O’Dwyer, told of the sky and the

Lights that were seen offshore,

They hung in space, not moved a trace

Though they hung for an hour or more,

Then a coastal cutter rose from the sea

In a widening beam of light,

Taking with it the coast guard crew,

Of Brendan, Seamus and Dwight!

 

That brought a laugh, for the crew he named

Had once been Rhymers before,

Then Dwight and Seamus were lost at sea,

Though Brendan sat at the bar,

He’d told no tales since that dreadful night

When his shipmates both were lost,

But answered only in two brief words,

His mates had been ‘tempest-toss’d’.

 

‘‘Ten parts pissed’ if I know those two,’

Said Tomas behind his hand,

‘A quart of whiskey, a quart of gin,

Better they’d stayed on land!’

But Brendan heard, and his face was grim

As he wandered back from the bar,

‘If you want to know what happened that night

It’ll cost each man a jar.’

 

He quaffed a pint of his Guiness Stout

Before he could even begin,

‘The night was lit by a pale moonlight,

And the cutter lay on its beam.

A light came down like an arc of white

We seemed to be climbing a stair,

It only took a second or two

And suddenly, we were there!’

 

‘Alone in a rolling countryside

And stood at the base of a hill,

A sparkling stream of water there,

At the base, a rippling rill,

But Dwight, I swear, was as white as white,

And then he muttered a curse:

‘That river flows from the rill down there

And up the hill, in reverse!’

 

‘Then out of the silence came a voice,

So feminine, soft and fine:

‘All of your past is flowing there,

That is the River of Time.

Should you be searching for hidden truth,

And youth, just step in the stream

The years will pass like blades of grass

For nothing is what it seems.’

 

Brendan paused and he took a draught,

And sighed in a kind of dread,

‘You think that Seamus and Dwight were lost,

You think they’re both of them dead!

They both stepped into that whirling stream

Though I was too scared to try,

I watched their years, tumble and fall,

And now I can only cry.’

 

‘And now I can only cry,’ he said

‘For the years I could have had yet,

If only I’d had more courage then,

One chance is all that you get.

And now those two are the ten-year-olds

You can see out riding their bikes,

Out in the front of the Gun & Whale,

They laugh at me, every night!’

 

The Rhymers rushed to the windows there

And saw two boys in the dark,

Riding around the Pepper tree

And then, off into the park.

So Tomas read out the Rhymers creed

Like all of them, pale and white,

‘It goes to Brendan, we’re all agreed,

The tallest tale of the night!’

 

David Lewis Paget

 

 

Reviews

[Veronica Chandler]

This piece just delighted me to no end and is one of my favorites from you.
"But answered only in two brief words,
His mates had been ‘tempest-toss’d’.
Your way with words and genius in telling a tale never fails to grip me and take me along for the ride. The sheer volume of works from your pen and the fact that every one is of mind bending quality just boggles me. Excellent tale!

[Lena M. P.]

Truly fetching. I raise my pint and give you the award for the tallest tale!

[TL Boehm]

Oh I am indeed a fan of Tomas (he is cafe royalty, I think) and of you. A wonderful story!

[Zahra]

Another amazing write from. Very nice.

[SyberRose]

This was certainly a fun read and you make these tales look so easy but I won't even attempt to try David...SyberRose

[quinfinn]

another engaging and well told tale, i love anything to do with the ocean. awesome write!

[Robert James Parfett]

The Gun and Whale sounds a right hoot! Not sure I'd want to go back to being 10 again! Another great rhyming tale. You would be the leader of the Rhymers Club!

[Marie]

Oh my goodness, that certainly was a tall tale. Let's all raise a glass to Brandan!

[Tate Morgan]

Oh that was precious And all would agree the trip back to our childhood is always the best way to go. Send me a ticket Ill need no bags my clothes wouldnt fit then anyway, Nice job

[Augustus]

Your poetry reminds me of my schoolboy days when we learned poems like the "The Ballad of Semmerwater" or "The Inchcape Rock". You are very consistent with your flow, and there is a vein of humour running throughout the verse, which makes it charming and accessible, never in danger of becoming dull in spite of its length.

Here, in reviving the "lyrical ballad" if I may call it that, I think you are carrying forward an art that is all but lost in the modern era, where succinct free verse holds sway. It is a very difficult thing to maintain that kind of consistency in a narrative spanning so many stanzas, but you seem to do it with ease. Being predominantly a writer of structured verse, I have nothing but appreciation for your skill. Thank you!

[David Lewis Paget]

For Tomas O Carthaigh and the Tullamore Rhymers Club.