Zombie

Zombie

A Poem by David Lewis Paget

I’d never believed in the living dead

In the movies of the time,

Though the wife curled up in a foetal ball

At zombies, covered in slime,

I said, ‘Well, why do you watch it then

If it’s going to freak you out?’

But she’d lie in bed in a constant dread

And she’d sometimes scream, and shout.’

 

She’d say, ‘Do you think they could come back,

Come clawing out of the ground,

Creeping up from the graveyard to

Surround us, here in the town?’

‘I hardly think it likely,’ I would say,

‘Because they’re dead!’

But that was before a knock on the door

And standing there was Fred.

 

I was sitting reading the paper when

I heard Miranda scream,

I found her there at the open door

With a nightmare, not a dream.

This guy was standing, dripping with mud

And grass shoots in his hair,

He said, ‘I’ve come for Miranda,

And I’m not prepared to share!’

 

I looked at her in confusion, said

‘Just what’s this all about?’

Miranda wasn’t coherent, she

Just stood with an open mouth.

He said, ‘I’m Miranda’s husband

And I’ve come, just like I said.’

Miranda uttered a funny croak,

And said, ‘You can’t, you’re dead!’

 

I knew that she’d buried a husband

Just before we two had met,

But that had been seven years before,

It’s not like you’d forget.

But there he was in the flesh, although

The flesh was rather green,

His hair was matted and tangled,

And I wondered, where had he been?

 

We sat him down in the kitchen and

She made him a cup of tea,

While I went out in the car, and drove

Around to the cemetery.

His grave was all in a shambles with

The headstone at a lean,

A gaping hole to the coffin, then

I knew that he was unclean!

 

‘We’ve got us a real zombie,’ was

The first thought in my head,

What do you do with your partner’s ex

When your partner’s ex is dead?

When I got back they were having a chat

While she combed the mud from his hair,

Just like a good little zombie’s wife,

While I could just stand and stare.

 

I made a call to the bishop, who

Said it was plain to see,

If he, like Lazarus, had come back

Our marriage was bigamy!

I asked Miranda, ‘Who do you want

Your ex, or me, or what?’

She said she couldn’t make up her mind,

He’d been pretty good in the cot!

 

I thought, ‘That’s it!’ and I got my gun

And I put a hole in his head,

The Sheriff came and he told the wife,

‘You can’t kill a dead man dead!’

So we buried him back in the same old grave

To save the expense of a new,

But Miranda went back to her mother’s then,

Said, ‘I’m not living with you!’

 

David Lewis Paget

 

 

© 2013 David Lewis Paget


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' ‘We’ve got us a real zombie,’ was ~ The first thought in my head, ~ What do you do with your partner’s ex ~ When your partner’s ex is dead? '

So glad people couldn't and can't hear me laughing and roaring like a runaway train .. this is wonderful.. realll y is! Goodness knows where you find your inspiration for some of your posts, specially this one. Out of the world maybe?! What amazes me is that you can be funny, humourous, crazy, whatever, and still stick to incredibly fine meter.

Just read it for the third time, trying to find THE stanza that hits the spot but they're all so clever and funny.. will just leave my review opening .. until i change it again!

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




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Em
I really enjoyed this. I thought it was so well written. I really like when something keeps you reading, and that is exactly what this poem did for me. Loved it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Overall, this is a great piece but the only thing that kept eating at me like the un-dead was 2 things: 1. Would a husband who is willing to leave his wife with a zombie really be interested in keeping her in his life?
2. What Zombie escapes the grave and finds his way into a house with no, resistance and then prefers to get his hair combed and not take a bite out of someone?
Funny stuff though, don't get me wrong.

Posted 11 Years Ago


HAHAHA thats precious Oh I think some people would welcome the return of the dead husband just to be rid of the wiofe. But I can imagine this confusing things for most.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Very imaginative. You ought to write for "The Walking Dead." It takes a lot to inject humor into an evil undead story. Yet, you managed to pull it off.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Laughing..what an ending..this was so funny and what kids todday loove to see on t.v.and in the movies..Another gem David..Kathie

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Scary thought if you're partner's ex came back as a zombie. :-/ great story!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Awww poor husbands, both of them. This was such an interesting write, an enjoyable zombie story. :-) very nice.

Posted 11 Years Ago


What's to stop him from coming back a second time then? Zombies aren't like weewolves or vampires...I suppose they could be destroyed by fire...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A great story, David. I thought I'd had enough of zombie tales, but you gave this one such a fresh twist. Thoroughly enjoyed!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

crafty as always! i'll share this to my friend who really is very fond of zombies! Thanks for sharing this to me David! :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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22 Reviews
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Added on April 14, 2013
Last Updated on April 14, 2013
Tags: foetal, graveyard, slime, ex

Author

David Lewis Paget
David Lewis Paget

Moonta, South Australia, Australia



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