Zombie

Zombie

A Poem by David Lewis Paget

I’d never believed in the living dead

In the movies of the time,

Though the wife curled up in a foetal ball

At zombies, covered in slime,

I said, ‘Well, why do you watch it then

If it’s going to freak you out?’

But she’d lie in bed in a constant dread

And she’d sometimes scream, and shout.’

 

She’d say, ‘Do you think they could come back,

Come clawing out of the ground,

Creeping up from the graveyard to

Surround us, here in the town?’

‘I hardly think it likely,’ I would say,

‘Because they’re dead!’

But that was before a knock on the door

And standing there was Fred.

 

I was sitting reading the paper when

I heard Miranda scream,

I found her there at the open door

With a nightmare, not a dream.

This guy was standing, dripping with mud

And grass shoots in his hair,

He said, ‘I’ve come for Miranda,

And I’m not prepared to share!’

 

I looked at her in confusion, said

‘Just what’s this all about?’

Miranda wasn’t coherent, she

Just stood with an open mouth.

He said, ‘I’m Miranda’s husband

And I’ve come, just like I said.’

Miranda uttered a funny croak,

And said, ‘You can’t, you’re dead!’

 

I knew that she’d buried a husband

Just before we two had met,

But that had been seven years before,

It’s not like you’d forget.

But there he was in the flesh, although

The flesh was rather green,

His hair was matted and tangled,

And I wondered, where had he been?

 

We sat him down in the kitchen and

She made him a cup of tea,

While I went out in the car, and drove

Around to the cemetery.

His grave was all in a shambles with

The headstone at a lean,

A gaping hole to the coffin, then

I knew that he was unclean!

 

‘We’ve got us a real zombie,’ was

The first thought in my head,

What do you do with your partner’s ex

When your partner’s ex is dead?

When I got back they were having a chat

While she combed the mud from his hair,

Just like a good little zombie’s wife,

While I could just stand and stare.

 

I made a call to the bishop, who

Said it was plain to see,

If he, like Lazarus, had come back

Our marriage was bigamy!

I asked Miranda, ‘Who do you want

Your ex, or me, or what?’

She said she couldn’t make up her mind,

He’d been pretty good in the cot!

 

I thought, ‘That’s it!’ and I got my gun

And I put a hole in his head,

The Sheriff came and he told the wife,

‘You can’t kill a dead man dead!’

So we buried him back in the same old grave

To save the expense of a new,

But Miranda went back to her mother’s then,

Said, ‘I’m not living with you!’

 

David Lewis Paget

 

 

© 2013 David Lewis Paget


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Featured Review

' ‘We’ve got us a real zombie,’ was ~ The first thought in my head, ~ What do you do with your partner’s ex ~ When your partner’s ex is dead? '

So glad people couldn't and can't hear me laughing and roaring like a runaway train .. this is wonderful.. realll y is! Goodness knows where you find your inspiration for some of your posts, specially this one. Out of the world maybe?! What amazes me is that you can be funny, humourous, crazy, whatever, and still stick to incredibly fine meter.

Just read it for the third time, trying to find THE stanza that hits the spot but they're all so clever and funny.. will just leave my review opening .. until i change it again!

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Oh how I hate zombies! but this was quite a humorous tale. Love the ending, though I do feel sorry for the man.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Loved reading it...something different something good.


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Thats a bloody ball tearer! Funny as hell and I detect dry Aussie humour.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i laughed out loud at this one, David
Great... just great

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

So clever and funny!! Another signature story in poetic form. Always enjoy your writing David!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Wow that just interesting. Its why I don't watch zombie movies and I just love the stories and tales you tell I mean I could never write a poem like that with such, a great flow. The whole thing was just amusing when it came to her ex husband the one who came back, her reasons for maybe choosing his and leaving her husband here in the end. Everything was so entertaining with humor, love and spooky I guess a bit. Overall this was just great and really glad I got to read it, it was just to awesome to pass up.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Haha! This is absolutely terrific! :)
Suitably bizarre topic, good choice of rhyme and meter and it is so full of wit! I haven't reviewed too much on WC that can be categorized as humour, but this one is top notch! Throughout this poem, you have maintained great flow and consistency and compels the reader to go on reading it, even though the poem is fairly long. It is futile to quote lines because so many of them are oozing with brilliance. Overall, what I admired the most is your portrayal of the situation: it is out of phase with reality by just the right amount. And that drives the humour throughout.

I think with minor changes to the meter in some places, it would sound even more effective. For instance

‘I hardly think it likely,’ I would say,
‘Because they’re dead!’

could possibly be replaced by

'I hardly think it likely, now'
I'd say 'Because they're dead!'

That would maintain the alternating tetremeter-trimeter scheme that you have maintained.
But like I said, that is just a minor suggestion. I thoroughly enjoyed this write!



Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

He said, ‘I’ve come for Miranda,
And I’m not prepared to share!’

My goodness! and the last stanza. Yup. Such a sense of humor in this one, albeit dark its still there!


Posted 11 Years Ago


Whacky poem have to laugh enjoyed it

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really enjoyed reading this! To me, it has an upbeat kind of feel even though zombie anything is dark. It brought a grin to my face!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1049 Views
22 Reviews
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Added on April 14, 2013
Last Updated on April 14, 2013
Tags: foetal, graveyard, slime, ex

Author

David Lewis Paget
David Lewis Paget

Moonta, South Australia, Australia



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