Books & Nooks

The books that I’ve collected over

More than fifty years,

Are neatly shelved and catalogued,

Dog-eared, and some in verse,

I spend a day repairing those

Each week, that come unglued,

When pages come away from those

I’ve more than often viewed.

 

I never lend them out, I learned

My lesson, doing that,

For all their protestations friends

Will never bring them back,

When months go by and I espy

My book up on their shelf,

They say, ‘Oh no, I bought that one,

You lent to someone else!’

 

I have a reputation now

As somewhat of a Scrooge,

I tell them, ‘You can look, not touch,

Your fingerprints are huge!’

I always wear my cotton gloves

To handle any book,

And use a reading table when

I need to take a look.

 

And so it was that lately I

Had thought it a disgrace,

When pondering the bookshelves that

Some books were out of place,

I called the wife and asked her why

She’d shifted ‘The Plague Dogs’,

To nestle next to ‘Lost in Space’

And screwed my catalogue?

 

She said, ‘I never touch your books,

You know that all too well,

I wouldn’t dare, each time I do

You go round, raising hell!’

‘It didn’t move itself,’ I said,

Unless it sprouted wings!’

She threw a turnip at my head

And sundry other things.

 

And that was just the start of it

The books were moving round,

I found ‘The French Lieutenant’s Woman’

Flat out, on the ground,

Then ‘Lady Chatterley’ I saw

Wedged in between ‘Tom Jones’,

And right behind her, far too close

‘A Morbid Taste for Bones.’

 

‘This has to stop,’ I ranted,

But it didn’t stop, of course,

My books would rearrange themselves

In some strange intercourse,

I noticed ‘Little Women’ seemed

To flit from shelf to shelf,

‘What Katy Did’ I dare not say,

I’d not do it myself!

 

But worse was yet to come, I found

Some books were getting fat,

They turned into compendiums

Of tales of this and that,

And ‘Little Women’ grew so big

They justified my fears,

‘I know now who the culprits are,

Those bloody Musketeers!’

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Yellow Butterfly]

I love my books too and your so true about lending them out and NOT getting them back..

David, I like the way you tell your poems... this one had me chuckling from start to finish especially the finish.... those horny Musketeers... :o)

A great read David... Thank you

[minisla]

like the relationship you have with all types of print.Nice work yet again David

[TL Boehm]

She threw a turnip at my head
And sundry other things.
That's such a funny line.
Yes, I am territorial with my books. I'd have more but I have no more room.

[Patricia B. Hepler]

It's very clear to me now: since I work in the children's dept of the local library, I'm always amazed at how the books get so disarranged so quickly..and now I know the true reason why.....;-) You know, it's a bad day when you realize your own books go rogue...lol
Great & fun poem, sir~
~pat

[Tate Morgan]

that was really funny .If only we could interact with all these stories and times. They surely become more interesting that way

[jwesley]

Much enjoyed this, my friend. Conversely, I loan, or give my books to anyone, hard or paperback - Books need to be read, looked at, handled - it's what keeps them alive --- my opinion anyway. Of course, my wife always tells me I'm weird.

Go Figure --- great write.

j.

[Valentine]

Very funny..I have so many hardbounds, I was thinking of donating them to our city library..then got like you, started looking through them..began rereading those I had a long time..and my books ar still in my bookcase..My paperpacks I do loan to the cripled lady across the road to read though..Kathie

[nwachukwu c]

Reading your work freely is indeed a big gift for me! I know the pain we see in things we 've kept so long, being changed. I now know the feelings of my grandmother, when my parents was changing things in the old house. Another great work, from the great David Lewis Paget "

[roarke]

Musketeers..... heh.

yeah, my wife moves my stuff all the time, and then claims I can't find my arse with both hands... ah, wives.

Boy do I relate to this whole piece. Well done, well said, all for one one for all.

[Marie]

Some of my prized books once hid so well that I got new copies, not knowing I stilll had the old. The worst was when "The Light That Failed" took refuge behind a bookcase...Kipling and I were both frantic...