The Incredible Tattooed ElephantA Poem by David Lewis PagetThe
Harold Remarkis Travelling Show Had
been doing it tough of late, They’d
been snowed in at the carnival grounds Of
a town in Washington State, They
were bogged in mud in Ohio, where It
rained for a week and a half, Where
the folks just wouldn’t come out and pay To
look at a two-headed calf. Remarkis
studied the poor receipts And
he said: ‘It’s not looking up! If
things don’t happen at Mitchell’s Bluff I’ll
be looking for acts to cut! The
Hairy Woman will have to go And
the clown with the giant nose, The
trapeze twins keep falling off, We’ll
have to get rid of those!’ Then
Raj Matahj in his turban thought, Came
up with a bright idea, ‘What
if we’ve got the only act For
a travelling show round here?’ He
said he’d tattoo his elephant, Would
make it an artist’s dream, ‘With
so much hide to cover,’ he sighed, ‘We
could make it a walking screen.’ ‘His
trunk we could colour a Barber’s Pole, His
ears, the sails of a ship, His
eyes could glare with a bright red stare And
blue on his lower lip, We
could tattoo scenes of their greatest fears That
would make them shiver and cry, They’d
come in droves, Yes or No? Isn’t
it worth a try?’ Remarkis
chomped on his huge cigar, ‘We’d
need a professional! Who
do you know with an artist’s flair Who
could paint a confessional?’ Matahj
knew one in a nearby town Who
would do it all for a fee, ‘We’d
have to tie the elephant down So
it doesn’t go stomp on me!’ It
took a week for the tattoo king To
cover the hide in scenes, The
elephant bellowed a hundred times But
they paid no heed to its screams. It
took three weeks for the hide to heal And
they led it through Mitchell’s Bluff, Under
a huge tarpaulin so They
could see, but never enough. ‘It
looked like a Magnum Anthromorph,’ Said
a woman who’d swallowed a book, ‘More
like a walking dinner plate,’ Said
the eye of an a la carte cook, It
roused the town’s curiosity They
were all determined to go, The
Incredible Tattooed Elephant Was
the focal point of the show. It
was walked around in the circus tent, Away
from their prying eyes, ‘It’s
such a pity there’s only one, Three
more would be a surprise!’ ‘We’ll
do it with mirrors,’ The Turban said, ‘We’ll
range them around the ring!’ ‘Now
that’d be swell,’ Remarkis said, ‘And
certain to pull them in!’ That
night, the tent was packed to the gills With
a thousand wild eyed sharks, They’d
paid ten dollars for just a glimpse Of
the Loxodonta’s marks, The
mirrors were set for the final scene And
the elephant came in view, To
the oohs and aahs, under the stars And
even a scream or two. The
elephant gained the centre ring And
he looked around in a daze, There
seemed to be elephants everywhere And
his eyes began to glaze, A
demon grinned from a shoulder And
a witch took off with her broom, And
each one stared with a bright red glare At
the only one in the room. He
bellowed once, he bellowed twice And
he raised, two feet in the air, Then
coming down, he stomped on a clown, He
was gone, beyond despair. He
crashed his way through a mirror, stomped Along
on the bottom row, Crushing
and mashing the patrons there As
the blood began to flow. There
was fear and pandemonium As
he crashed up through the seats, Making
his way towards the back Where
sat the town’s elite, He
fell all over the local mayor And
the town clerk’s head was crushed, Then
scrambled over the cheaper seats Turning
them all to mush. They
say there’s a tattooed elephant Hid
out near Mitchell’s Bluff, It
only ever comes out at night From
the woods, and that’s enough, He
forages through the garbage bins And
he roams, both up and down, While
the council put out an ordinance, There’s
not a mirror in town! David
Lewis Paget © 2013 David Lewis PagetFeatured Review
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