The Incredible Tattooed Elephant

The Harold Remarkis Travelling Show

Had been doing it tough of late,

They’d been snowed in at the carnival grounds

Of a town in Washington State,

They were bogged in mud in Ohio, where

It rained for a week and a half,

Where the folks just wouldn’t come out and pay

To look at a two-headed calf.

 

Remarkis studied the poor receipts

And he said: ‘It’s not looking up!

If things don’t happen at Mitchell’s Bluff

I’ll be looking for acts to cut!

The Hairy Woman will have to go

And the clown with the giant nose,

The trapeze twins keep falling off,

We’ll have to get rid of those!’

 

Then Raj Matahj in his turban thought,

Came up with a bright idea,

‘What if we’ve got the only act

For a travelling show round here?’

He said he’d tattoo his elephant,

Would make it an artist’s dream,

‘With so much hide to cover,’ he sighed,

‘We could make it a walking screen.’

 

‘His trunk we could colour a Barber’s Pole,

His ears, the sails of a ship,

His eyes could glare with a bright red stare

And blue on his lower lip,

We could tattoo scenes of their greatest fears

That would make them shiver and cry,

They’d come in droves, Yes or No?

Isn’t it worth a try?’

 

Remarkis chomped on his huge cigar,

‘We’d need a professional!

Who do you know with an artist’s flair

Who could paint a confessional?’

Matahj knew one in a nearby town

Who would do it all for a fee,

‘We’d have to tie the elephant down

So it doesn’t go stomp on me!’

 

It took a week for the tattoo king

To cover the hide in scenes,

The elephant bellowed a hundred times

But they paid no heed to its screams.

It took three weeks for the hide to heal

And they led it through Mitchell’s Bluff,

Under a huge tarpaulin so

They could see, but never enough.

 

‘It looked like a Magnum Anthromorph,’

Said a woman who’d swallowed a book,

‘More like a walking dinner plate,’

Said the eye of an a la carte cook,

It roused the town’s curiosity

They were all determined to go,

The Incredible Tattooed Elephant

Was the focal point of the show.

 

It was walked around in the circus tent,

Away from their prying eyes,

‘It’s such a pity there’s only one,

Three more would be a surprise!’

‘We’ll do it with mirrors,’ The Turban said,

‘We’ll range them around the ring!’

‘Now that’d be swell,’ Remarkis said,

‘And certain to pull them in!’

 

That night, the tent was packed to the gills

With a thousand wild eyed sharks,

They’d paid ten dollars for just a glimpse

Of the Loxodonta’s marks,

The mirrors were set for the final scene

And the elephant came in view,

To the oohs and aahs, under the stars

And even a scream or two.

 

The elephant gained the centre ring

And he looked around in a daze,

There seemed to be elephants everywhere

And his eyes began to glaze,

A demon grinned from a shoulder

And a witch took off with her broom,

And each one stared with a bright red glare

At the only one in the room.

 

He bellowed once, he bellowed twice

And he raised, two feet in the air,

Then coming down, he stomped on a clown,

He was gone, beyond despair.

He crashed his way through a mirror, stomped

Along on the bottom row,

Crushing and mashing the patrons there

As the blood began to flow.

 

There was fear and pandemonium

As he crashed up through the seats,

Making his way towards the back

Where sat the town’s elite,

He fell all over the local mayor

And the town clerk’s head was crushed,

Then scrambled over the cheaper seats

Turning them all to mush.

 

They say there’s a tattooed elephant

Hid out near Mitchell’s Bluff,

It only ever comes out at night

From the woods, and that’s enough,

He forages through the garbage bins

And he roams, both up and down,

While the council put out an ordinance,

There’s not a mirror in town!

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Valentine]

How enjoyable and funny..I could just picture it..the poor thing needled until it was sore..then getting back at his tormentors ten fold...where that old time thinking mind came up with this one..I just do not know...How is it you always seem to know when I need a good chuckle..Kathie

[TL Boehm]

the poor creature went rogue. Perhaps that's why we don't tattoo elephants - highly entertaining story, David!

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Great story .... I enjoyed reading this ....

[Jack...]

Very colorful and filled with humorous lines. This truly was like a painting, like a circus poster hung in the city to entice the townfolk. Very cool, Sir.

[Vertigoingnowhere]

Wow! I loved this, This was such a excellent write! I could picture absolutly everything! Thank you so very much for not keeping this to yourself!
Mind checking out some of my stuff?
Thanks.
Best Regards,
~HSA (High School)

[Marie]

What a wonderful story. I guess they got carried away when they put mirrors up. There can be too much of a good thing--even of a good elephant.
Rminds me somewhat of "The Illustrated Man."

[David Scott]

I like how you are changing up your stituations in your poetry. This story read well and the details felt like they could be fact.
Well done David. Your not a one act pony show for sure.

[Dr Ayaz chandio]

very interesting,flowing,and nicely written.

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

what a poor elephant! This tale is quite unique i say! still splendid!

[Tate Morgan]

Being a resident of the offending state of Ohio i can only say I think they would have tattooed him in scarlet and grey to match the Ohioo State Football team an instuitution that has half the state advertising in their front yard. If they had done that i think even the animal activists would have cheered the practice. I remember going to a freak show in Ohio once as a boy.They dont allow those anymore. I have to say i laughed all through this and thought of the republicans who use a elaphant as their mascot .

[quinfinn]

i have to say that by the time i was on the last verse that i was laughing audibly and i couldn't stop. i love animals and am not a cruel person but i was so entertained by this write! where the hell do you come up with these whimsical and wonderful ideas? awesome write!