House of Dreams

The house was ready to move right in

When Jane and John were wed,

A wall in the lounge was a TV screen

And another, over their bed,

It was fitted with every gadget

That could open, close or sing,

‘We want it to be the most modern house,’

Said Jane, ‘with everything!’

 

The washing machine was silent as

It whisked around their clothes,

They ate right out of the dishwasher,

Why stack them, keep it closed,

The carpets muffled their every step

They had a luxurious pile,

‘It’s just like walking on clouds,’ said John,

As they wandered round for a while.

 

The lights were hidden in ceilings

Casting a faint, enchanted glow,

And speakers whispered their music

Following round, wherever they’d go,

They had ipods and pads and things

And touch screens all about,

‘It certainly is the house of dreams

So why would we want to go out?’

 

John would follow his wife around

The room with his loving eyes,

While Jane would gaze at the garden

Through the shades, with heaving sighs,

‘There’s so much love in our little house,

I feel it’s almost a dream,’

Said Jane, who stayed in her nightie:

‘Why get dressed, the clothes are clean!’

 

The oven there in the kitchen had

Six burners, worked on gas,

But Jane never got to turn it on,

‘We have to make it last!’

They sent for take-out, burgers, fries,

For a treat they’d eat Chinese,

‘And that is the beauty of this house,

We can do whatever we please!’

 

John had installed a system that

Was called ‘The House of Love’,

It whispered insidious messages

From the speakers up above,

‘Oh Jane, you are so beautiful,’

It would whisper in the shower,

Told John: ‘you’re such a lucky man,

To be let in your lady’s bower.’

 

A speaker out in the mailbox said:

‘Hello there, Mister Man,

I see that you have some letters there,

Just place them in the can.

Or maybe you’d like to take them up

And slide them under the door,

They’re busy now, in making love,

We’d be thankful, Man, I’m sure!’

 

When visitors rang the bell, they’d hear

The sound of a drawn out sigh,

‘John and Jane aren’t in today,

But they’ll phone you, by and by!’

Both friends and family ceased to call,

Got on with their mundane lives,

‘That pair have nothing they want to share,’

Said the husbands, to their wives.

 

A year went by in a flash, the bliss

Was almost too much to bear,

‘Why don’t you move,’ said Jane one day,

You’re still in that same old chair!’

‘You’re getting fat,’ said John to Jane,

As he looked at her burgeoning thighs,

Maybe we ought to go out one day,

Go out for some exercise!’

 

They sat and stared at the oak front door,

They sat and stared for a week,

‘Maybe you’re right, we should go out,

If only to take a peek.’

John turned the knob on the door, and pulled

But he found that it wouldn’t budge,

‘The wood has swelled, Oh, Merry Hell,’

He swore, ‘we’ll wait for a nudge!’

 

They hoped when a visitor came to call

They would push from the other side,

But no-one called, they’d given up,

Stayed home with their dented pride,

And tempers frayed in the house of love

As the voices whispered on:

‘Oh Jane, you have such beautiful thighs,

Now why did you say that, John?’

 

The take-out came through a window

Far too small to be climbed on through,

For Jane had the hips of an elephant,

And John had the belly of two,

The Pizza boy was a slender lad

And he’d nudge and he’d nudge in vain,

But the door stayed fast ‘til the very last

Until the firemen came!

 

The voice said, ‘Hi there, Mister Man,

I can see you’re coming on through…’

The firemen called on the local police,

‘See here! Now what do we do?’

For Jane lay drowned in a half filled tub

While John had sat down, and choked,

‘You shouldn’t have said that, John,’ it said,

The knife was still stuck in his throat!

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Lisa Ring]

You have a sharp wit, David! This scenario, in reality, scares me. I prefer to do work and to have fun, the old fashioned way. Of course, I cannot live completely without technology but I am happy with very little. It is odd how we "improve" and "improve"as we orchestrate our own destruction. Brilliantly written. :)

[Distant horizons]

A perfect and ever so elegant way of saying the oldest phrase in the book, money can't buy happiness. This was an adventure from the first word. Absolutely love it.

[Valentine]

David..how true,,,money cannot buy anyone happiness..that comes from inside of the heart..not the pocket book..Some people think that having things makes them important..some like me..grew up poor and were thankful for what they had..You write such interesting tales.I wonder sometimes where these ifeas come from..care to tell me..Love to Lyn and you..Kathie

[ROSALIND]

Oh MY GOLLY GOSH WHAT AN ENDING i FELT LIKE i WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE POEM YOUR TALES ARE AWESOME.
IF I COULD WRITE AS GOOD HAS YOU
but I have a different style of writing I actually managed to write a rhyming one lol

[MoriartyMesa]

This reminds me of one of those Tex Avery Cartoons, the house of tomorrow gone wrong.

[Crowbar]

I particularly like the bit about the messages from the ceiling saying she had beautiful thighs, when in fact she had FAT thighs! Ha!

[Tate Morgan]

The house that hell made LOL well they got what they wanted .I have a brother who once won a law suit for 200,000 dollars and he disappeared into the night with his wife and kids . In 2 yrs he was broke and he came home.I said well you got everything you wanted.He said i didn't get anything i wanted .And I have nothing to show for it.Well I said didn't you buy horses ? Yes he said and didn't you spend it gambling and partying and vacationing ? Yes he said .Well then you got what you wanted.The problem was what you wanted wasn't what you needed and now you have to face reality .He smirked and walked away .

[Marie]

A woeful tale of too much techology...what is not used eventually dies...