Strike!

Revenge is sweet...

I’ll admit I was running late that day,

Back home from the trailer park,

It was cold and wet in the alleyway

As I made my way in the dark,

My wife had run off with the milkman

Left me caring for two young boys,

They were at that age - you know the one,

Where they scatter the house with toys!

 

The hall was lying in darkness, but

I could hear them, back in the house,

Their voices raised in an argument,

The why’s and the where’s, and how’s,

I walked on into the kitchen, then

And stood stock still at the door,

If I hadn’t been self-possessed that day

My jaw would have hit the floor!

 

‘Okay, fess up! Who brought it home?’

But Tim just gave me a scowl,

‘It’s mine, but Robbie’s a sookie moan!’

Then Robert began to howl;

‘It isn’t fair, it’s always the best

That he gets, it’s never enough!’

‘I thought they were fixed,’ said Tim at last,

‘But his must have fallen off!’

 

I looked at the head on the table, it

Was fixed with a crooked grin,

There wasn’t a sign of blood on it,

And it had a wax-like skin,

‘Are you sure it’s real?’ I reached on out

To poke it, there on the cheek,

But the eyelids flew wide open, stared,

And my heart - it stopped for a week!

 

‘I found it out in a puddle, in

The alleyway out the back,

I picked it up and I brought it home

Tucked into my haversack.’

I sat them down and I pointed out

That we couldn’t go keeping heads,

As the sweat broke out on my brow to think

Just what I’d say to the Feds!

 

Their mother rang, she was on her way

To collect some more of her stuff,

I freaked, and hurried the boys away,

And I got them cleaning up,

I swore them both to a pact with me,

They mustn’t whisper a thing,

For mothers are pretty touchy, see,

When they take off that wedding ring!

 

I took the head, had put it away

By the time that she rang the bell,

The Milkman lurked in the alleyway,

For him, it was just as well;

She took her clothes and the bowling bag,

They were off to the Ten Pin Bowl,

I mused, were the nostrils flared enough

To pass for a twelve pound ball?

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

LOl oh man that is funny.I cant understand what makes you tick.However what would be a horror story is turned into a laughing romp through the mind .I have to say it would somehow give me great joy to be able to prank my own ex with such a ploy.I cant imagine a place where a head may be found in the alley.No wait yes I can. I live in The united states,We had another shooting on a campus today.Only now days of course going postal doesn't quite cut it. How about going American.We do know how to make sure you have the right to own and use a gun .Sad isn't it .Well there I go off on another tangent .Hope alls well .At this rate you should have a new book done by the end of the year.

[Marie]

Great! I loved the ending...and it wasn't till then I understood the title.

[Leigh]

Great twist and turn in this and really humorous, I like the classic line 'My wife had run off with the milkman', as they do lovely. Youve managed to incorporate a bizarre subject into an everyday story with seamless ease.