The Eclipse

‘My thoughts are often consumed by death

And the dark side of the Moon,’

I said to Jane as she sensed my pain

On that Sunday afternoon,

We’d sat through the morning sermon

Of the Tempting on the Mount,

‘The Devil is often abroad,’ she said,

‘More times than we can count!’

 

‘Yet God is the infinite mystery,

He never has shown himself,

He doesn’t swoop down to rescue us

Or curb the excess of wealth!’

I said there were so many questions

That had led me into doubt,

But Jane, the waif, had a simple faith

And she turned me inside out.

 

‘Look at the trees and bushes here

And the way they propagate,

And every species to its kind,

We’re all in the hands of fate.

He works his wonders in full view

We need to open our eyes,

For his is the great creative force,’

She said, and her words were wise!

 

The sky had suddenly darkened

It was coming on to rain,

We dashed to the nearest clump of trees

And I reached for the hand of Jane,

I held her tight in the fading light

Sought heaven through her lips,

And fell to the leaf-strewn forest floor

Where we stayed through the sun’s eclipse.

 

The day had become as black as night,

It was eerie, through the gloom,

As we made the wildest, passionate love

On a Sunday afternoon,

And the seed I left at the rising crest

Of our love, and the sun’s eclipse,

Was the seed of the Great Creator, found

At the warmth of a woman’s lips!

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

Simple things and simple questions are sometimes hiding deep and comprehensive meanings. I liked the way you create here a sort of mythological tale about two lovers sheltered inside wild nature's bosom. What I found here - contrasts or parallels: God - woman, Moon - Sun, Sunday - eclipse. faith - doubt. This poem is a sort of woven tapestry with threads intersecting one another. It is beautifully written with a good ending, the kind of wise love poems I like. Because I find here a deep philosophical approach and the questions about the gender of God or his omnipresence or revealing himself.

[TL Boehm]

romantic and wild and lovely writing.

[Laura Maidah]

You captured my attention the whole way through

[Mark]

So many interesting possibilities here! The lesser, nearer darkness of the storm, vs. the greater, further darkness of the eclipse, albeit both transient; the Comfortable Damps of lovemaking vs. the Uncomfortable dampness of being rained on; darkness as an allegory of both wickedness and secrecy--probably none of these enter into your true purpose, Dave, but you know me: over-analyze to the nines! I hope I haven't missed your true point while a'chasing of the wild geese! I've even tried to dissuade myself from asking how it is possible to observe an eclipse through the low cloud deck of a thunderstorm... without success, apparently!

[Fréyjä Helv..]

Another beautiful poem... nice work...

[BlackRose]

Once again, ANAZING! And the one below said it best.

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

This is a very intriguing write and as previously reviewed, I assumed naively that the seed was that of a plant. Anyway, as I said before the narrative is passionately told in first person and makes it very credible in aspects of emotion and experience (that's a compliment). The last stanza is quite spiritual, and biologically possible. The eclipse theme gave the poem a unique brilliance.

[Valentine]

That seed had to be found somehow...I love the stories you blend so well into your writing..Super write..love and God bless Lyn and you..Kathie

[A Jainam Mehta]

hats off. amazing poem .

[Dean Kuch®]

Ah, that Jane, such a wise woman she was!
The images you painted in my mind with this piece really stunned me. Two people that obviously love one another, grappling with the age old questions of humanities very existence, only to be greeted by two of Gods's true natural wnders; an eclipse and passionate love making. Brilliantly penned once again David. You are a master! I humbly bow...

[Marie]

Jane's simply faith in all creation, morphing into passion...and the ending climax...beautifully done...