Al Cobdogla's Hearse

The mood in the town of Warramine

Was grim, and getting worse,

For stuck on the town’s old hump-back bridge

Was Al Cobdogla’s hearse,

The brakes had failed and the motor quit

And the footplates wedged each side,

The springs had sprung, and the body hung

On Emily’s final ride!

 

The coffin lodged in the back was black,

As black as Emily’s sin,

There wasn’t a man in the great outback

That hadn’t been out and in,

For Emily Gray was more than gay

In the old sense of the word,

She only charged a dollar a spin

Out there in the cattle yard.

 

For Emily was an outdoor girl

She couldn’t abide inside,

She liked the sun on her naked legs

And a good bit more beside,

She’d run stark naked under the trees

When the wattle began to bloom,

And wives would lock their men in the bar

On a Saturday afternoon.

 

‘The blatant hussy,’ - ‘The brazen b***h!’

The women would often say,

The men would mutter and drop their heads,

‘It’s only Emily Gray!’

They found her lying without a stitch,

Or that’s what somebody said,

And beat her bloody with candlesticks,

So now, poor Emily’s dead!

 

She lay in the coffin, wedged in tight,

As tight as the hearse on the bridge,

The men got worried and pulled her out

And stuck her in somebody’s fridge!

‘She won’t last long in the heat out here,

It’s over a hundred today,’

It seemed that the women of Warramine

Were stuck with Emily Gray!

 

They pushed and heaved, pummelled and thrust

But nothing could budge that hearse,

The only bridge into Warramine

Was blocked, for better or worse,

The farmers couldn’t get into the pub,

The townsfolk, locked in the town,

While Emily Gray, quite naked lay

With the men, all milling around.

 

They built a fabulous highway bridge,

Four lanes, both in and out,

While Al Cobdogla’s ancient hearse

Is part of the tourist route,

And Emily went to her final rest

To the cheers of the men, and cursed,

But Warramine boasts its ‘Emily Bridge’

Thanks to Cobdogla’s hearse!

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

I cant believe I hadn't gotten round to this poem yet .Sorry bout that. However I laughed all through it.I can imagine this being true . We all know how the women would react lol They wanted her dead Now they want her planted. The places and times you have lived in are so colorful.I envy your influences. That would be a good tourist attraction and all the women would cringe when asked about it lol Now I'm sure the men would all agree with their wives until they got to the crown and hearth

[Fréyjä Helv..]

Interesting and funny poem you have there... I admire your creativity... Who would come up with Al Cobdogla'a? i had a heard time saying that.. lol.. A fun read...

[Marie]

This is funny. I suppose Al Cobdogla'a hearse is pointed out as one of the more se=cenic sites...

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Don't know where you come up these stories, but keep it up :)