Al Cobdogla's Hearse

The mood in the town of Warramine

Was grim, and getting worse,

For stuck on the town’s old hump-back bridge

Was Al Cobdogla’s hearse,

The brakes had failed and the motor quit

And the footplates wedged each side,

The springs had sprung, and the body hung

On Emily’s final ride!

 

The coffin lodged in the back was black,

As black as Emily’s sin,

There wasn’t a man in the great outback

That hadn’t been out and in,

For Emily Gray was more than gay

In the old sense of the word,

She only charged a dollar a spin

Out there in the cattle yard.

 

For Emily was an outdoor girl

She couldn’t abide inside,

She liked the sun on her naked legs

And a good bit more beside,

She’d run stark naked under the trees

When the wattle began to bloom,

And wives would lock their men in the bar

On a Saturday afternoon.

 

‘The blatant hussy,’ - ‘The brazen b***h!’

The women would often say,

The men would mutter and drop their heads,

‘It’s only Emily Gray!’

They found her lying without a stitch,

Or that’s what somebody said,

And beat her bloody with candlesticks,

So now, poor Emily’s dead!

 

She lay in the coffin, wedged in tight,

As tight as the hearse on the bridge,

The men got worried and pulled her out

And stuck her in somebody’s fridge!

‘She won’t last long in the heat out here,

It’s over a hundred today,’

It seemed that the women of Warramine

Were stuck with Emily Gray!

 

They pushed and heaved, pummelled and thrust

But nothing could budge that hearse,

The only bridge into Warramine

Was blocked, for better or worse,

The farmers couldn’t get into the pub,

The townsfolk, locked in the town,

While Emily Gray, quite naked lay

With the men, all milling around.

 

They built a fabulous highway bridge,

Four lanes, both in and out,

While Al Cobdogla’s ancient hearse

Is part of the tourist route,

And Emily went to her final rest

To the cheers of the men, and cursed,

But Warramine boasts its ‘Emily Bridge’

Thanks to Cobdogla’s hearse!

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

I cant believe I hadn't gotten round to this poem yet .Sorry bout that. However I laughed all through it.I can imagine this being true . We all know how the women would react lol They wanted her dead Now they want her planted. The places and times you have lived in are so colorful.I envy your influences. That would be a good tourist attraction and all the women would cringe when asked about it lol Now I'm sure the men would all agree with their wives until they got to the crown and hearth

[TL Boehm]

Oh yes....the huzzzzy. Yup. Oh I read this and laughed - I can imagine the women clucking like biddies over the situation - and I found your description of Emlly's "sin" delightfully humorous. Well done.

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

Wonderful, captivating, and quite intriguing story -the vivid images of the outback that literally takes me to Australia. Brilliant narrative!

[w]

I like the simplicity that meshes with complexity here (if that makes sense).

[MOON]

Fun write . Lovely as usual

[BlackRose]

You captured some of what's in it so well. Another superb one from one of the greats.

[A Jainam Mehta]

you've beautifully framed the poem.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Hi David, I just enjoyed your writing as I always have. I've been writing these days. I'm keeping up with a blot. Hard work but I enjoy it.

How have you been? How are your sales. I'm sure you are now one of the riches men down under! :D

Only you and Rock and Roll Cowboy are on my home page. I guess a lot of the old timers have moved on.

I may post some of my newer pieces when I get a chance. Until then you can always check out my blot http://silentlyheardonce.wordpress.com my email addressbis the same. Until later. Be well.

[Androglossia]

Your poem implies the importance of the story behind each in everyone of us. It simply tells us that even a deadbeat or the unnoticed beggar down the street have their own story. It tells us that no matter how hilarious or interesting a certain thing or person is, they have enduring backgrounds that made them what they are today.

Your story is a fable because it teaches a moral to the audience.

Another great read!

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

It is dark humor but also harsh moral critique. It is sad but also such a realistic painting. The ending is logical, in my opinion it is a quite good picture of human hypocrisy and need to reconcile with the past. Social dilemmas have to be solved somehow. This poem is like a fable. With a feeling of neutrality or unbiased thinking.