Missing

“Why not?”

 

“Just trust me it’s so much better this way.”

 

“I don’t believe that.”

 

“One day when you’re older you’re going to thank me for not loving you.”

 

“I’m going to thank you?”

 

“Yeah, you’re going to thank me. Love is terrible, it kills people. And if I loved you then it would give you the incentive to love me, and one day I’m not going to be here. It’s a terrible situation. Trust me you’re going to thank me.”

 

 

I.

 

It was night and they walked along the street and they noticed some children playing. The man rolled his eyes but the girl smiled. He told her that she was nicer than he was. She looked at him and kissed him. She told him that there was good in him.

 

 

 

“What if I don’t thank you? What if there is no love and people waste their entire lives being afraid of something that doesn’t exist. And then they never get close to one another. I think it’s just the idea of love that bothers you. It’s made it become a dirty word for you.”

 

“No, there’s a cruelty involved that you’ve never experienced. Say you love a person, a human as a human, it doesn’t even have to be about sex, no f*****g involved. That person will abandon you the first chance that they get. And why, I have no idea. I will never know the motives of some people, ever. It’s like humans are strange little mammals that see another human as comfort, like a nest. And they nest with that person, they feed, if you will, off of that person, and then they abandon them. Maybe love or caring is a survival instinct, or it used to be anyway. And some people know better but they still do it. Just like the smoker who knows that smoking is bad for them but then they still smoke. Their mind just finds a new way to reason it- new schemas.”

 

 

II.

 

They both walked to a darker part of the street. She put her head on his and he rubbed her hair. And although they felt like a couple they still stood apart from each other some how. She ran up the street and she started jumping. She tried to get him to play with her. He shook his head but he still smiled. She walked back over to him and that’s when they heard the screeching in the sky. They both looked up into the night sky. They couldn’t see anything at first, just the darkness, and then they noticed dark shapes that would blot out the stars for seconds at a time. As the shapes got closer they realized that these were dark winged creatures. Their screeches were low pitched and drawn out. Their claws reached out for the girl and they hooked into the girl’s chest. Her blood seemed to splash into the creature’s mouth. The man felt helpless and he screamed at the creature. Two other creatures swooped down and tore into the girl. They carried her up into the night sky. They carried her away and he could no longer hear their screeches. The girl didn’t scream once.

 

 

“So everyone in the world that falls in love is acting on instinct? Then what you’re saying is that what people feel is just an illusion. The reality of love or caring is that it’s a left over mammalian trait, one where the mammal nests and tries to find comfort for a time. Okay, let’s say I buy that. That knowledge wouldn’t make me miss my loved ones any less. If you left it wouldn’t make me miss you any less. And I know that you hate that sort of sentimentality, but it’s what I know- it’s what I feel.”

 

“It’s what you feel? How f*****g faulty. You shouldn’t go by that you silly girl. People are so quick to go by how they feel. The actions of man have become nothing but impulse because of it. All through history, it’s nothing but a bunch of emotional impulses. Let me tell you about this one guy. He loved this girl, he thought he did anyway. She knew that he loved her and this gave her an excuse to treat him with cruelty. It was her ticket in. She would neglect him for a week or two. She knew that he would take it because he was in love with her. She would insult him constantly, and he took the insults and he still loved her. She was so amazed at what she could get by with. She was just so amazed because love had allowed her to treat him like this. It was a miracle for her. You see emotions are opportunities for cruel people to come in and f**k with your life. And love is a terrible door that we’re all brought up to believe in. So before you go on about how you feel I want you to remember the story about this girl. I’m going to leave you in a month or so. I don’t want you to miss me. I don’t want you to remember me.”