In Silence Spoken

Unrequited love sucks

What is heard 

in silence spoken 

stirs within

a hidden ocean 

A siren's tongue 

with bated breath 

upon thy heart

I pray my call do rest 

For the hour is late 

a wicked potion

undo the spell 

yet unbroken

A silent tongue 

from a hollow chest 

waves and graves 

is what you've left 

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your poem is a haunting and evocative work of art that captures the essence of hidden emotions and the pain that can come with unrequited love. The way you describe the character's feelings and the imagery you use to convey their emotions is both powerful and moving, and the ending is a tragic reminder of the pain that can come with loss. The way you write about the character's struggle to move on from their pain is particularly poignant, and it adds an extra layer of depth to the poem. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem and was left feeling deeply moved by the emotions it evokes. Keep up the great work!

[Chris Shaw]

These short stanzas suit the subject matter well. The title is great and your stanzas convey the hurt of unrequited love well Pash.

Chris

[Pash]

Thank you kindly.

[Lorry]

In silence spoken is a great phrase that speaks of all the thoughts running through our head, that can become a dialogue of what the other person thinks too.
The hour is late, suggests that you are awake in the wee hours, thinking of that person, with perhaps the what ifs and maybes playing in your head like an old movie reel. (it is my favourite part of the day, or night) and I know how quiet and contemplative it is, but also how it seems easier to find solutions to problems that niggle away at us. It is the silence that eases the chaos of day enough to let us contemplate these thoughts that are never far from the surface and would be a lot easier to solve if there wasn't so much noise around to begin with.
Hope you find a way to resolve it, or at least find an answer.

[Pash]

Me too Lorry. Thank you for the comment.

[Ribs]

I agree with willweb! The slant rhymes here are very eye-catching (or ear-catching), and you've got a clear direction in your writing that makes it easy for me to understand what you're feeling here. The imagery is poignant, the stanzas are neat, and the message is impactful.

Best,
Ribs

[Pash]

Thank you! I appreciate your kindness.

[willweb]

Really nicely done. I really enjoyed the close rhymes throughout. Very creative.

[Pash]

Thanks for your time and kind words.