The Night's Darkest Hour

Can you hear the howls

Do you recognize the growls

Can you survive tonight

To see the day's light

Or will you be taken from your life

Either way you'll need to strife

Your chances are gloom

As they run closer carrying your doom

Has they night ever been this dark

Here they come, and you are fear is stark

You can hear them as their howls get louder

As the night has reached her darkest hour

It feels as you've gone to hell

Cause the fear, and pain is so thick you can smell

As you get your cross, and kiss your loved one goodbye

And you know your telling them a lie

When you say it's going to be alright

But you can't even put up a fight

Their here clawing at your door craving flesh

And they can't wait to thresh

through you with their fangs,and claws

Digging in to your skin's flaws

As you come back from tense thought

They burst through your door, and your fear rises allot

They, growl,and howl while their looking you in the eye

Your loved one starts to cry

They throw you to the ground

And you look up only to see the bloody hound

As you start to fade

And your vision starts to shade

Reviews

[Jordan Easley]

There were parts of this that I loved, and parts that I think you should change. I loved the overall idea and the overarching theme of the poem. I also liked the words you chose to include in the poem. However, there were some lines that didn't make sense. You should just go back over the poem carefully, fix the grammatical mistakes, and that would make the poem so much better. Nice job overall though. You should do more like this.

[David the writer]

Thank you! I try my hardest

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

I love your writing, David

[David the writer]

Oh, thanx! You should check out my series

[Purplerose]

What a write. Full of suspense. Well done. :)

[David the writer]

Thanx alot!

[Sirius King]

this is good too...i agree with the other viewers about the grammar mistakes...other then that..good write!

[David the writer]

Thanks. I was 12 when I wrote this, n it was always like midnight too

[Sirius King]

oh ok kool

[David the writer]

Yeah it is man. Thanks dude

[Sirius King]

np :-)

[ewest1220]

Wow that was intense! I'm blown away my friend. If there were any grammar issues like some other people said I do want you to know that it didn't detract from my overal enjoyment of this piece. Very creepy but wel done!

[David the writer]

Thanx, glad you liked it, and hope you check out my sereies Glorified Killer or Hero. There's currently 9 parts, but I feel as though it really started at part 8.

[ewest1220]

I think it's in my read request list. I've got about 150 of them at the moment but yours is coming up soon I think.

[David the writer]

Kool! Ha ha I forgot that I sent you a read request. Well hope you enjoy it when you do read it. Thanx again for the review!

[RachelReaper]

I think that "Has they night ever been this dark" "Has the night ever been this dark" But other than that, it was very dark and seemed like a scene pulled from a horror movie or action movie =)

[Timeless-Chan]

a few grammer issues but really a nicely writen poem:)

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Oooooohhh. Creepy! Excellent write, well written :) Keep writing!

[writingcrazy55555]

I liked this poem, it was very descriptive. However, there were a couple of spelling and gramatical mistakes that you should fix. Otherwise, nice poem, kept me on the edge of my seat :)

[Talismanic]

Can you hear the howls,
Do you recognize the growls?
Can you survive tonight
To see the day's light,
Or will you be taken from your life?
Either way, you'll need to strife (you will meet strife) * I think you mean strive, strife is a noun.
Your chances are gloom (you’re chances are slim, or gloomy is the verb)
As they run closer, spelling your doom.
Has the night ever been this dark before? *rhythm feels flat
Here they come, your fear is stark, your instincts raw.
You can hear them as their howls get louder,
As the night has reached her darkest hour.
It feels as if you've gone to hell,
The fear and pain is so thick you can smell (smell what?)
As you get your cross, and kiss your loved one goodbye,
And you know you’re telling them a lie
When you say it's going to be alright.
But you can't even put up a fight,
They’re here upon you now, clawing at your door, craving flesh,
And they can't wait to thresh through you with their fangs and claws
Digging in to your skin's flaws.
They burst through your door,
Stare you fiercely in the eye.
Your loved one starts to cry.
They throw you to the ground (Your loved ones? Clarify wolf/beasts here :)
And you look up only to see the bloody hound
As you start to fade.

I’m not sure exactly what your aim is, but there’s nothing wrong with setting up a gripping scene. This could be metaphor for any impending threat. What came to my mind was a man in a war-torn country being arrested. I’m probably way off or reading into the ‘being taken from your life’ too much, but I guess everyone brings something different to a story and that’s the beauty of it.