A Call To Arms

A satirical piece parodying the mindsets of some Christian right-wingers in the United States. Enjoy.

Just the other day, I saw a loony liberal busking in the streets, the sound of his fingers plucking  guitar strings accompanied by screeching ballads effusively praising the shameless Marxist Obama for creating a stronger welfare state. I became filled with scorn, but I wasn’t surprised. You see, Liberals have a warped idea of reality very different from you and me.

 

They think raising taxes is liberation. They think patrolling the free market is a duty required from any upstanding Liberal. They think their implementation of economic ‘fair play’ will strengthen the economy and the American population when the reverse is quite true.

 

Liberal logic is diluted to the point where the consequences of their positions, if successfully implemented, essentially cause the world to go topsy-turvy on its axis. They are too deluded by their self-deceiving propaganda to realize the fatal consequences of their immoral positions.

 

For example:

 

Liberals support food stamps for obese people.

 

Liberals support hand-outs for people who refuse to work.

 

Liberals want to release twisted crooks from prison as quickly as possible.

 

Liberals shamelessly promote the dangerous myth that global warming is real.

 

Liberals support enacting legislation that would erode our cherished gun rights.

 

Liberals promote the agendas of homosexuality, trade unionism, abortion, atheism, evolution, environmentalism, immigration, feminism, marijuana legalization, universal healthcare and affirmative action, amongst other deplorable subversive plots inimical to the proper functioning of a just American society.

 

The consequences:

 

Obese people will consume even more resources than they need to.

 

Welfare-grabbers will buy cars while hard working persons get the short end of the stick.

 

Shameless crooks will lurk the streets, slipping quietly from lamppost to lamppost in the night, veiled in the comfort of the shadows, seeking to prey on our innocent and impressionable youth with their shop-lifted hunting knives which they brandish like you would a wooden stake toward a vampire’s heart.

 

Everyone with a different opinion is forced to toe-in-line with the party or face jail time.

 

Harmless seniors will be relentlessly terrorized by gun-toting black men and will be left with no means to defend themselves to resort to in the worst moments of crisis.

 

The morals of our society will be subverted to serve the ends of a selfish and derelict, bleeding-heart, ivory-tower, pseudo-intellectual and hypocritical elite.

 

We cannot let the evil leftists corrupt our fair and just society.  Unfortunately, however, by this point in time, it may be too late, for it has been almost three years �" his dreaded anniversary comes around late January �" since Obama has first assumed power. The corruption is already visible and well underway, without question.

 

Just the other day, not too long after I encountered the busker, I saw a man holding hands with another man, and they were speaking to each other in very thick, very noticeable homosexual accents. I saw two mommies cuddling a vulnerable newborn in their arms, cooing cute words to it as if it were a mindless animal. I saw an atheist give a speech �" Richard Dawkins, I think his name was �" about why religion is the greatest inhibitor of progress to a modern, humanistic global society that cherishes secular values. I saw a Mexican look twice before he crossed the street, as if he had something to hide.

 

I’m afraid for the straight couples who will see this deviant abomination of a couple when they cross paths. Will the gay get passed on to them, like a virus? I’m afraid for the baby with two mommies. I pray my hardest and hope pure hope against pure hope that she doesn’t progress into a godforsaken lesbian �" for the disease of homosexuality is one that progresses slowly, but in noticeable chunks of sexual deviancy. I’m suspicious of the Mexican �" likely an illegal immigrant �" who looked twice before he crossed to the other side.  I sincerely pray that an elderly white couple doesn’t get robbed of their hard earnings by this pitiful foreign leech.

 

This is the state of our society under Obammunism: Communism brought to America pre-packaged under the guise of ‘social justice’ through Stalin’s Marxist proxy, Obama, which in itself embodies the very principles that should be considered at first sight to even the least intellectual of persons anathema to the very existence of our great nation.  The Constitution has been disregarded in even its most elementary stipulations which dictate how a proper functioning society should operate.

 

There is no longer an informed and moral, upstanding electorate led by a righteous, moral leader. Instead, the leftist politics of today, though not changed too much on its surface from its original inception, is dominated by a naive and immoral, spineless electorate led by a self-righteous and immoral leader who thinks he knows best for all, just like mommy.

 

Are we Conservatives really that weak as to watch this decadence and degradation unravel before our very eyes and not even utter a single word of admonition toward it in hopes of backtracking the terrible damage that has been cast like a damnable curse upon our once just and fair society?  No.

 

There have been many Conservative authors who have penned best-selling publications that serve doubly well as articles of faith, a call to arms, and a nerve-rattling, defiant war cry against the decadent corruption of America that is liberalism. Communism is liberalism in its latest grotesque caricature that it has so shamelessly assumed.

 

Let this article, then, serve as another war cry �" another voice �" added to the increasingly disillusioned mass of armed patriots who will not let the pillars of their great nation’s Constitution be subverted any longer for selfish ends. With each new voice adds one more story to tell to future generations the indefatigable courage and astonishing resilience of American power and ingenuity, but most importantly, simplicity, in its most dear, yet core tenets that were manifest out of a single, patriotic, courageous revolution that established our nation’s glorious independence from the tyrannical British Empire.

 

My friends, we are again being squeezed under imperialist thumbs. This time, it isn’t the British Empire who, without second thought, taxed their ex-patriots without sufficient representation in their parliament. No, it is a far more sinister form of taxation, of usury, of robbery.  This time, we are being squeezed under the imperialist thumb of Obammunism. It stalks you in the edge of your vision, and when you turn to catch a clearer glimpse, it sinks away into the shadows like a raven taking flight into the night. It is there, but you can hardly notice unless you confront it directly �" or it decides to confront you.

 

So be it. Either way, we will be prepared. Gentlemen, I propose a call to arms against Obammunism. We will grab our guns from under our mattresses, from our lockers, from our fridge drawers. We will lock and load. We will take aim and pull the trigger. We will cruelly aim for the heart and savor the ensuing victory to follow.  We must take action now.

 

With each moment that passes, a child slowly slips farther and farther away into the mires of sexual deviancy until she is practically indistinguishable from the traits of lesbianism in practice and in character. With each moment that passes, an elderly couple is robbed in their home by a gun-toting foreigner, never certain of what lies immediately ahead in their ordeal, scared out of their wits, no confidence in their own strength, no defense to resort to �" no gun, no faith.

 

Gentlemen, our faith is our shield and our weapon. Nothing can hurt us as long as we have faith. Faith is the strongest defense one can ever possess. This is why the leftists are fundamentally weak �" they have no faith. God is on our side. The leftists are afraid of guns because they’re afraid they will accidentally kill someone. But Lord knows, nothing happens by accident, and this revolution certainly isn’t one. God, give us the strength to draw our weapons and hoist them proudly into the air, and air the sound of victory with that first shot. We cannot lose this war for as long as have our faith, our guns, but most importantly, our will power.

 

No mercy. Kill any leftist: closeted, suspected or confessed. The more leftists we kill, the closer we get to finally killing the Leftist ideology itself and thus be in a more favorable position to assert the dominance of the correct Christian Conservative ideology. For what is an ideology, but a person who holds a position for how affairs should be conducted?

 

We will win, my friends.

 

God Bless America. Amen.