The Goblin and the Quill

When a goblin sneaks into a wizard's laboratory disaster soon ensues when the goblin decides to drink one of the wizard's potions. The result is something that the bards will sing about for some time,

The Goblin and the Quill

By David Walby

 

The wizard was hard at work in his lab, creating his signature concoction"the Elixir of Discernment. It wasn’t an extraordinary event, he had made the same potion a thousand times, but it was important nonetheless. It was something that helped the old man focus, just something to get his old mind working like it used to again… The problem was that they didn’t last.

“I’ve got to go get some more saffron fibers. One potion won’t get me through anything.”

The old man put on his traveling cloak and left the laboratory. However what he did not realize is that he wasn’t alone inside his own chambers. As soon as the old man had closed the solid oak door, a low growl could be heard coming from one of the distant corners of the room. A mangled creature of deep green skin and long pointed ears with a nose that was far too large emerged slowly from the darkness.

“Loot yes!..... Shiny potion of the wizard shall make me powerful!... Yes powerful beyond my wildest dreams it will!” The green hellion mumbled to himself.

The creature shambled over to the table where the potion was sitting. It took the flask and pulled the cork. It took the elixir and downed it in just a few seconds.

He couldn’t tell what the difference was, but the creature could tell that something was off. A few moments later intense pain enveloped it. The creature fell to the floor and writhed in agony for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a few minutes. The creature blacked out and awoke some time later.  Again the creature could not tell what the difference was, but something was off.”

“I must say that was by far the most peculiar experience I’ve hand in quite some time!” the creature exclaimed.

A moment later the effect of the potion became clear to it. “By the Bottom Gods I feel incredible!”

A great toothy grin came across the creature’s face as he looked around at the laboratory before him and got a great number of ideas. Magical lore and arcane knowledge seemingly seeped into his mind from the equipment and materials around him.  He held up his clawed hands and marveled as he could see the energy crackling from palm to palm.

“It is as if I have ascended and expanded upon my consciousness a hundred times! I can feel the power! I say that it is time I put this to use!”

The goblin looked over towards the laboratory’s enchanting table and got an idea. He took a ring and a quill from the table next to him and got to work. First he would take the quill and ascribe it the power to inspire the wielder to write with masterful skill. He prepared the circle and called upon the powers of the deep to fulfill his design. He tapped himself into the laboratories power crystals and began to chant the deep words.

The energies crackled and the creature’s eyes glowed red as he spoke the infernal tongue to bring forth to reality the artifact that he sought to create. However as he went forward his focus began to subside. It became harder and harder for him to keep his mind aligned with the ritual. As time went on his mind began to drift, the potion was wearing off.

“No, no, no, no, not now!”

The goblins intention shifted and so did the nature of the enchantment. The energy was now being shifted and mangled from its original path and it reacted violently. Arcs of electricity shot out and fried the ambitious goblin and all of the laboratories contents.

The wizard, now returning from his errands heard a loud explosion from just outside of his lab. He rushed into his home and was horrified at what he saw.

“What in the bloody hell!?”

All that remained of the overambitious goblin was the quill and a charred pile of what could only be considered to be his remains. Every single piece of equipment in the laboratory was ruined. Every crystal was shattered, every reagent was charred, and every book was burned. The floor was covered in the thick contents of dozens of shattered potions, creating a volatile and toxic mess upon the floor. 

The wizard soon recognized the energy signal of the newly enchanted quill and picked it up from within the mess. The wizard slowly began to piece together what had happened after detailed arcane analysis of the energy fields and remains of his laboratory. By the time the wizard had gotten down to what exactly had happened he wasn’t sure on whether to scream or burst out in laughter. He took the quill with him to the Academy and reported them what had happened, but none of his peers believed him until they analyzed the quill for themselves.

The goblin had successfully enchanted the quill alright, but it wasn’t at all what he had intended. He accidentally bound his own soul to the object and now the perverse thoughts of the goblin"one whom was no longer under the effects of the elixir"entered the mind of anyone who attempted to use the quill and made them write the most vile of things. It was a regrettable scenario, but how were they supposed to know the side effects that the elixir would have on a goblin of all things.

“And that my friend is the Tale of the Quill of Lascivious Musing. The moral of the story? Never leave your work unattended or at least make sure that there are no goblins nearby!”

The man took a deep gulp of his beer. “There is no way that actually happened you idiotic bard!”

“On the contrary it did! I am related to the wizard himself!”

“Yeah maybe the goblin!”

The tavern erupted into immense laughter. The bards in these parts… always come up with the wildest of stories. Whether they are true or not only they know for sure, but the never fail to entertain. Varen got up from his seat. It was time to return to his own lab.

“I’d better make sure there are no goblins.” He chuckled to himself.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think! Be honest, I won't improve otherwise!

Reviews

[JayG]

Well, you did ask. And what I’m about to say doesn’t relate to your talent, how well you write, or the story—which is good. Still, this is going to be a hard one to take after all the work you’ve done on this, and the emotional involvement you have with the piece. So take a deep breath.

Here’s the problem you face: Although we don’t realize it, the skill we call writing, given to us in our school-days, is NOT the skill pointed to by that word in the title of the profession, Fiction-Writing. Not even close. But because we’re not aware of that, we naturally, assume that we own the necessary writing skills to create fiction.

But think about the ratio between assigned reports and essays, and those for fiction. It's heavily weighted toward the report and essay side, right? Though most of us never notice,the primary focus of our training in writing was mastering the techniques of nonfiction. An the goal of nonfiction? To clearly and concisely inform the reader—to provide data. And to achieve that, the narrator reports and explains in a voice that contains only he emotion suggested by punctuation. And since the reader can’t either hear the narrator, or know how they would read the piece, that voice is inherently dispassionate in the reader’s mind. You. of course, starting out with all necessary backstory, setting, character objective, and lots more, hear and visualize your own performance. Anything left out of the text because it seems obviou to you is "filled in" as you read—something the reader can't do. So when you edit it works exactly as it should

Look at a few lines of the opening, not as the author, who can hear emotion in the narrator’s voice, who knows the situation, the characters, and the setting, plus the backstory and their goal for the scene. Instead, look at as someone who knows only what the words suggest to them, based on their background.

• The wizard was hard at work in his lab, creating his signature concoction"the Elixir of Discernment.

1. What’s a wizard, in terms of THIS story? Would you bet that the word "wizard" means the same to your reader as to you? At this point, as a reader sees it, you could b talking about someone ten years old, or ten thousand.
2. His “Lab?” We don’t know where we are in time and space, even to what planet we’re on. We don’t know if we’re in a castle, a cave, or a row home in Manchester. There could be bunson burners or witch fire. Candles or electric lights. How can the term have meaning to your reader unless you first give context? You know. Th wizard knows. But how about the people you wrote it for? Shouldn't they know?
3. This section is a summation, an overview. It’s a dispassionate narrator explaining a painting, not the wizard living the events. Story happens, it’s not talked about. Why? Because, as E. L. Doctorow observed, “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”

• “I’ve got to go get some more saffron fibers. One potion won’t get me through anything.”

This isn’t someone holding a conversation, it’s you having the character speak to tell the reader a bit of information. Have you ever, in your entire life, recited what you plan to get at the store, ad your reasons fr getting it, before going? If the answer is no, he can’t do it, either, and seem real.

The short version: You’re doing the best you can, with the skills you have. And the missing information isn't your fault. And since you were never reminded that professional knowledge is acquired IN ADDITION to our school-days skills, you were placed in the position Mark Twain outlined with, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

And that’s what you need to work on. You can’t fix the problem you don’t see as being one, or use the tool you don’t know exists.

So how do you fix the problem? Simple: add the skills the pros take for granted to you own tool kit. Will that be easy—a list of, “Do this instead of that?” If only… But all profession require study and practice,so this is nothing unusual. And in this case, the study is of a subject you want to be good at, so it’s a lot like going backstage at a professional theater for the first time, and will have you saying, “But that’s so…How did I miss something so obvious?” And that’s fun…till the tenth time it happens. But the practice is writing stories, so what’s not to love?

Obviously, you could go for a degree in commercial fiction writing (but not creative writing, for reasons to complicated to go into). There are workshops, seminars, conferences, retreats, and that old standby, the library—which is where I’d begin, in the fiction-writing section.

To help, a suggestion: The best book on the basics I’ve found—the book that got me my first contract, is free at the address just below this paragraph. So copy/paste it into the URL window at the top of any Internet page and hit return.

https://archive.org/details/TechniquesOfTheSellingWriterCUsersvenkatmGoogleDrive4FilmMakingBsc_ChennaiFilmSchoolPractice_Others

If you want a kind of overview of what’s in that book, many of the articles in my WordPress writing blog are based on that book.

Okay… This was a lot like trying to take a sip from a running firehose, and certainly not what you were hoping to hear. But on the other hand, it is what you need to know.

So when the shock wears off, dig in. 😋 Grab a copy of that book, or one like it. And while you do, hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[DavidWalby]

Hey, thank you so much for the review! This is exactly the kind of feedback that I want. I will take this advice to heart and use it to improve my craft. Thank you.