The Court part 2 (New years eve special)

"You mean the Court?" A familiar voice spoke out. I turned around and saw a silhouette of a girl, contrasting with the light of the sun behind her.

"Oh, and that's Cat." Said Iris, rolling her eyes.

Then every step she took closer to me, her face started to look clearer. Her hair was golden blond. It flowed in waves to adorn her glowing pale skin. Her eyes were hazel colored. A straight nose, full pink lips - She seemed like the picture of perfection. She reminded me of someone, someone near and dear, someone who used to be like that at least. Her name was Catherine, she was my ex. One day, we'll be the sweetest couple on the planet and the other, we'll be fighting like hell. I still remember the details of how it ended. It was a rainy night as I remembered it, I came home late and tired, due to our school's project. When I opened the door, I found her sitting there on my couch, Staring into the holographic TV. I was weary. So, I told her I was going upstairs to rest and she nearly killed me. Despite the looks, She is ferocious. Once in school, we had a martial art training program and she single handedly beat everyone up. And I was like all cheering and stuffs but I wasn't cheering that night. She twisted and did all sorts of things with my arms. And all of a sudden I can't move an inch. She then burst into tears about how I didn't care about her and all that crap. After an hour of whining and inculpating, she finally said her last words before she left. "Good luck on finding another one." 

"My name is Catherine, not cat." Said Catherine, bending down closer to me, "So, we meet again, Mr North." 

"Excuse me? But do we know each other?" I asked.

"I am Catherine, remember me?"

Then a strong breeze hit me. "No way. You're Catherine?" 

"No s**t, Sherlock." Said Noah, giving a death stare, "She is my girl. Got a problem with that?"

He must have seen the way she looked at me and the way I looked back. Great, my ex is now a girl-friend of a person that saved my life. What a coincidence?

"No." I said, scratching my head. 

"Good!" Said Noah, "Moving on. You are now one of us. So you must..."

I didn't hear the rest of it, I was too distracted by the odds of us meeting in this scenario. Plus Iris was chatting off to me too, so I didn't know which one to listen to.

"Do you understand?" Noah coughed, and gave a me a serious deadly look. I don't know what the hell was wrong with him, I thought he was okay at first, but right then, I just want to punch him in the face.

Iris peered into my eyes,trying to ask me to return Noah with an answer, and I returned the look of confusion. I guessed she might have understood what I meant. So, she gave a me a nod.

"Yes." I answered Noah, nodding.

"Good." He said. 

Joseph gave me a thumbs up and I knew that I did the right thing. They all knew that I wasn't listening.

Author's Note

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! Please review and leave thoughts in the comments. :)

Reviews

[Xavier Lee]

David Ung, as before, your writing is interesting and I like the characters. However, you really need to step up the maturity and pacing. Case in point "stuffs" followed by "inculpating"? You clearly know better words, so use them.
You're trying to squeeze too much into too little space. Don't be afraid to make it long. In addition, your grammar really needs work, especially with capitalization, "So, She gave a me a nod." She does not need to be capitalized there, and it isn't the only example. In addition, I'm fine with Catherine being in this and who she is with the new relationship with Noah, but you really rushed telling us about it. And also, why doesn't Alex recognize Catherine? He says that this girl looks like her, then you shoehorn an explanation of who she is, but then he asks Cat if they know each other? And Noah's first line after that is ""No s**t, Sherlock." Said Noah, giving a death stare, 'She is my girl. Got a problem with that?'" Why does he care? Does he know about the former relationship between Alex and Catherine? Or is he just a stupid d****e who feels the need to explain to newbie that Catherine is his girlfriend just because? Also, "No s**t, Sherlock"? Again, is he aware that Alex knows Cat? Why does he think Alex should know who she is if he doesn't know about them?
All in all, it needs more. The information given is fine, but you need to work on finding better ways to present it. Either spread it out over a longer piece or get rid of some of it.
Forgive my bluntness and harshness, I don't mean to come off too mean, but as enjoyable as this story is, it needs a lot of polishing.

[David Ung]

Thank you for reviewing. Noah is jealous because of the way Cat looked at Alex. He also assumed that they knew each other due to Alex's "You're Catherine?" and Cat saying "we meet again Mr North." Although he assumed that Cat knew who Alex was, he didn't know that they used to be in a relationship, so he doesn't want Alex near his girl, by acting very rough and treating Alex badly. I will try to explain more next time and less in the places necessary. Thank you for reading.

[Xavier Lee]

I had assumed those things, but they needed to be explained. Also, just the way it was worded bothered me a little. Again I need to stress that it wasn't bad, it just needed polishing.

[Xavier Lee]

I now think that a better way would have been:
"You two know each other?" Noah asks.
I look down for a moment, then to Noah. "It's kind of involved."
Noah's expression become's frightening as he fixes me with a look that could kill.
"Why?" I ask.
"It's involved, huh?" He asks.
"Noah." Catherine says.
"Kind of." I say.
"Well," Noah says, "She's my girl now, got it?" Oh crap, the guy who saved me is dating my ex? "Got a problem?"
"No." I say, scratching my head.
Just a suggestion that I think might fix the problem with this part.

[Nonnye]

I think this chapter could be developed and become a very strong segue for the next part of the story. A new and possibly strong character has been introduced here but she isn't believable nor is the possible relationship to Alex. Noah's reaction doesn't fit. It feels like there was a lot that you wanted to say in this segment but rushed it.
Now, why is Noah's reaction off? There was no indication that he should be jealous of Alex, Alex is just coming around from a serious accident so unless Noah is seriously off, what kind of "look" would make the other guy jealous? and it seemed that most of the reaction from Alex to Catherine went on in Alex's head.
Why is Catherine an unbelieved character? Your other characters are more developed than Catherine. It seems she is meant to be a femme fatale but she kicks her boyfriends butt for no apparent reason then beats up a classroom; she comes across as one dimensional not like the other characters in the story.

[David Ung]

Thank you for the review. I understand how Cat is not a fitting character for Alex, but that was why they broke up in the first place. But I think that Cat being unbelievable is not true. I know a girl in my school that seemed very kind and feminine but she can beat up everyone in the entire class. I understand that the way I brought her up was kinda rushed but she will be developed just like the other characters as times goes by.

[Nonnye]

You are very welcome. As I said you have a strong bridge to the next part of your story. And you have the potential for a strong female lead. However, those of us who bring a story from our mind to the written word have all the knowledge of that story and it's people. The audience does not and the job of the writer is to gather us up and keep us involved in the story, MAKE us know what you know about these characters;about the place,the events etc. Don't base your "believability" of a character or place or anything on what you know. Sci Fi is a big hit not because of what the writers know but because of what the writers make us believe. What is different about Cat that your reader would not feel the same sense of development. What did you do with the other characters that was different with Cat. Why did the AI have a stronger believability than Cat? Keep in mind that your readers are providing information to you as THEY, the audience see it. Don't agree or disagree with it, use it, if nothing else to have a different Point of view than your own. Best wishes.

[BryanCX]

Reading it was interesting, especially about Alex love life. I felt bad for him getting twisted and beaten up by Catherine. The rest of the story were fine and dandy. Some part of the story, you have to re-adjust it a bit. I love to read more and looking forward to later story.