autumn part 6

BOOOOOOM!!!!!

Before I could even react to what has happened, I was already down on the ground. I could feel the heavy marble rocks on my back. What happened? Then I realized that my house, our house is falling apart, and I'm in it, we're in. "MIA!!!" 

My body started to tremble, I couldn't resist but to scream. The agonizing pain is just too much for me to handle, I never ever in my life felt such pain. 

"Arghhh!!" A screaming voice appeared out of nowhere. "A... Ale... Alex!!!!!"

Then I realized it was my sister, Mia. "MIA!!! HOLD ON!!! I..." I knew that I couldn't even save myself, let alone her, but I lied to her anyway. "I AM COMING!" Even though she was really annoying, and I hated her so much! I must find a way to save her. I scrutinized the ruins, trying to find one way, one way or another to escape, to help Mia. But I couldn't  focus, the pain is deteriorating, my hands and legs felt numb, and worse of all, I lost hope.

"M... Mia..." I said. "Hold on..."

Mia didn't reply to me, all I heard was her screaming in pain. I didn't know what to do. My mind just went blank...

"ALEX!!! NO!!!"

Author's Note

Please kindly advise and correct me.

Reviews

[keeanaaaa]

You're starting to use details, good work.

[Xavier Lee]

You used plenty of detail here, well written this round. But I can't help but feel that it is a little rushed. Take your time and really make sure it's perfect before you submit.