autumn part 3

autumn part 3

A Chapter by David Ung

The alarm rang... RING... RING...

"Ah... Ahead of time, as usual."

"Johnny, can you please turn the alarm off now? I'm awake." I asked the AI Butler, who runs my home, his name was John, I called him Johnny and he ran every single thing (except the living) in my house and this includes the stupid morning alarm that just couldn't shut up that day.

"Johnny, I said you can turn it off now! I am awake. In fact, I woke up ten minutes before the alarm even rang." My morning smile slowly diverged into a frown. Still got no response.

RING...RING...RING...

"That's it, I guess I have to turn it off manually!" I tramped to the alarm, but when I was about to turn it off myself, I was interrupted by an alert. The entire house starts to go crazy, the walls started to flash in blood red and coal black letters reading "ALERT! ALERT! Unidentifiable object advancing closer to premise."

My heartbeat began to quicken; nothing like this has ever happened before. What happened? Where is John? Why won't he reply to my command like he was made to do?

The sound of the alarm was loud and irksome!

"ARGHHH!!!! Damn it! John! What is happening?!" I demanded for an answer, my hands clasped on to my ears. There was complete pandemonium, I couldn't even hear myself, let alone John.

All of a sudden, it all stopped.

The rumpus silenced and everything went back to normal.

Now that I could hear myself again, I called out to John, hoping that he was okay. I know it's kind of weird that I actually cared about an AI, but John to me is more than an AI Butler. Sure, he might be programmed to be but John, he is family.

" Yes, master Alex, I am okay." John's voice was weary, and surely it was deteriorating.

" Oh, thank God, what happened?" I asked.

" JJ! What the hell happened?" A familiar sound spoke out disrespectfully.

"Huh?!" I turned around only to find my annoying sister standing there with her hands crossed and her irreverent look at me as if I did something, or did I?



© 2015 David Ung


Author's Note

David Ung
So part 3 is out yay!!!!!! I hope you guys like this and if you did please give me a review and if you got a wattpad account follow me there the name is DavidUng http://www.wattpad.com/user/DavidUng . I will try to upload as soon as possible.
So I've decided that i will start posting twice a week on this site and i will only post one but a huge chunk on wattpad. Love Ya!!!

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Reviews

My heart beats fastened, The last time this happened was like never.

Instead it should be something like this:
My heartbeat began to quicken; nothing like this has ever happened before.

Also, you mix the past and present tense in certain sentences. Here's another example:

The entire house starts to go crazy, the walls started to flash in blood red and coal black letters reading...

Instead:
The entire house started going crazy. The walls flashed a message in blood read and coal letters. ALERT! ALERT! UNIDENTIFIABLE OBJECT ADVANCING ON PREMISE.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I might say the futuristic scenario is interesting. Looking forward for more and pay closer attentions to the punctuation please... keep it awesome!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

David Ung

10 Years Ago

thanks i will.

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

206 Views
2 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 24, 2014
Last Updated on January 7, 2015
Tags: future, teens, dystopian, war


Author

David Ung
David Ung

phnom penh, south east asia, Cambodia



About
"To reduce the look of wrinkles from my beautiful face, I started using Dermagen iQ on a regular basis. I collaborated with them on Dermagen iQ but also organizations don't want to suspect touching on.. more..

Writing
autumn part 1 autumn part 1

A Chapter by David Ung


autumn part 2 autumn part 2

A Chapter by David Ung


autumn part 4 autumn part 4

A Chapter by David Ung