Chaff and Ballast

Job replies

My heart is sinking down like lead

Within my chest, and recent grief

Is poisoning my past belief,

Fading, if not discredited.

Perhaps my spirit’s just as heavy,

Weighed down by my iniquity.

Sins I will neither hear nor see,

And these misfortunes fall to chevy

A wicked man who has rebelled

Against his Maker and his Lord.

The God whom he had once adored.

An ingrate, he must be compelled.

But if I’m heavy, I should sink,

So let me plummet to my doom,

And let dire punishment consume

A wretch who teeters on the brink.

A sinner, God should cast me down

An ember dropping from the sky,

And in that scorching I may die,

Or in a lake of fire I’ll drown.

Maybe, unworthy, I am light,

Like chaff the blowing wind has sifted

And without merit, has uplifted

To whirl into the realms of night.

So if I’m worthless let me fly

To that perdition, to the death

For which I pant with every breath,

Punish the sinner, don’t deny

Me the destruction I deserve,

The end for which I dare to pray,

The fate of those who disobey,

Refused to mangled souls who serve.

Am I of iron or of bronze

That I withstand such punishment,

These plagues the wrath of God has sent?

Is this the penalty for wrongs

Committed by a heart so hard

The fires of heaven cannot burn

It down to ashes for an urn,

Blasted by flames but never charred?

If it’s surrender that He seeks,

Before the killing blow, I bend,

But if defiance can amend

His mercy, then it’s scorn that squeaks.