Valley of the Dead (Clyde and I))

In the lobby next morn, Coyote met a Bedouin prince

Dressed in a gold trimmed robe, which made him look awfully thin

Through an interpreter, he said Coyote’s nose was awfully long

And wondered if he used it to play ping-pong

When Coyote said he was an animal, not a human

That Bedouin Prince started uncontrollably fummin

Telling us how he’d been attacked by a Goose

Which his damn nomadic wife had let get on the loose

What happened just as he had bent over to tie up a shoe

Was what a decent Goose should just never do

It had knocked him over, onto a slippery, loose sand slope

And when he reached out for something to grope       

He instead shot down into the valley below

But that valley was where only creatures were meant to go

With the unfortunate prince being captured trying to escape

Snagged by a creature who was a bloody big Ape

A whole buncha Orangutangs were on their knees eating fresh cheese

Given to them by desert Bedouins who let them eat whatever they’d please

They simply watched as the prince was hung from a tree

Then the Orangutang prepared to eat him from head up to knee

First beginning from his ears to his nose

On to each foot, where they would chop off to boil each of his toes

When he tried to talk, they’d created somekina weird surprise

Because his tongue would already have said its goodbyes

This sort of thing, the orangutang’s wives’ thought was sorta mean

All demanding he be put back the way that he first shoulda been

These wives then told the prince that from geese, he’d best stay away

Which would then allow him to have a very nice day

After which the grateful Bedouin Prince patted Beagle and took Clyde for a trot

Over to Saudi Arabia which both considered to be a very nice spot

In Arabia we all (even Clyde) rode camels all round the desert each day

Altho,’ looking somewhat awkward, Clyde never offered a neigh

Crossing ‘The Great Sand Sea’ we saw Sphinx, in the Valley of the Dead

Where a recently located hamburger joint, was where we got fed

Although, again, Clyde responded with his customary neigh

What he wanted was some number one, best before due date, chocolate chip hay

Fortunately, it was very fortunate the Bedouin had a very fortunate farm

Where Clyde eating chocolate chip hay, would not be cause for alarm

However, Coyote and Beagle, thinking the burger joint was fine  

Along with the Bedouin, got three burgers for only one dime

Afterwards, intending to return to the prince’s tent, we took a night flight

But in mid-air, the pilot and co-pilot got into a fight

With each one landing blow after blow

Both arguing about who robbed the bank at Monte Carlo!!!

This caused the plane to weave this way and that, through night’s air

Causing the fat lady to bounce about on her great derriere

Eventually all this this threw the plane into an uncontrolled spin

Which had one pilot yell back, “I’m afraid folks, we’re going in”

It was then, a miracle took place, as the fat lady’s derriere began to spin

As it spun more and more, even Clyde hadn’t attempted to stop her

Until, in front of our amazed eyes, the Dame’s rear became a helicopter

And instead of us all crash landing in the middle of the desert

The enormous extent of her huge derriere covering, pretty pink skirt

Was converted into a rescue chopper, which gently canceled our fright

Upon landing, Clyde looked about for a solid material placement site

Where he scent his impression of that frightful flight

Then, we all conked out in a Bedouin tent, equipped with A/C

With that being the last of that day we wanted to see

Cross my heart and hope to die

Every bit of this is a lie

 

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

Clyde riding a camel is hilarious and I love this whole tale of traveling to the Middle East in the great sand desert. Clyde and his companions always seem to get into so misfortune circumstance. I do so love these tales of Clyde’s adventures

Great story telling as always

[Dave Brown]

kind of you to say
I don't expect too much positive reception for these things. I just write them because I have these ridiculous thoughts rolling around in my head.
Thanks for enjoying some foolish fun

[Poetic Beauty]

They are very entertaining and I love the humorous story lines