The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger leaned over

Tryin to slip on his cowboy boots

This was because he intended to ride Silver again

In an attempt to git back to his wild western roots

 

Even at 89yrs. he still possessed that old lawman’s urge

And he constantly repeated to his ravishing, slim, well-endowed, gorgeous, thirty-year old, Las Vegas showgirl, wife

About how he and his life long, bud and close companion, Tonto

Used to save life after life

 

But for an old cowpoke, bending over was hard to do

Which had his delectable, Diamond Lil kneel down by his feet

To help grunt and struggle to first get one boot on

And then they’d do the other, sorta-a repeat

 

After that she’d always help him up onto his feet

And after grabbing his Stetson and whatever more

She’d hold onto his western belt at the rear

While helping him stagger out the front door

 

There, a dim, not a-tall-clear sight, awaited the Lawman

Because wearing bi-focals isn’t cowpoke macho

It was his old buddy Tonto, leaning on a carved cane

But otherwise, looking ready to go

 

Yo Kemosabe, Tonto’s weak voice sputtered out

Although the Lone Ranger was too deaf to hear

However, the old guy’s fading sight did notice

Tonto’d brought along a full jug of cheer

 

On the Las Vegas mansion’s driveway waited Silver and Scout, using each other for support

Without some support, each horse was almost too weak to stand on its own

Diamond Lil, taking hold of them two faded Western stars

Lead them to the horses, with each elderly hombre following, groan after groan.

 

But getting on the horses was an impossible task

When alone, it was something neither muchacho could do

So, without so much as a minor hint of resistance

Both were agreeably aided by their old filming crew

 

Eventually the horses were separated to stand alone

This had The Lone Ranger yell out, “High yo Silver, away!!”

But the horses, not being at all so inclined

Responded with a disinterested “Neigh!”

 

As night fell, the sun set in the west

(in actual fact, the Sun doesn’t set in the west, it is only because of the earth’s rotation on its axis, with one complete rotation taking place app, every 24 hrs. from west to east, that it appears to set in the west!! Apparently)

And a tiring day of reminiscing came to an end

But Tonto’s bottle and a ravishing Diamond Lil

Were there to help each hero mend

 

 

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

Well penned about old age and how things can change as life gets on in years. Poor horses!!

[Dave Brown]

haha
I shouldn't laugh because I empathize with the plight of animals as they get older
it is for sure that old age can be a b***h
take care and try not to get any older PB

[Poetic Beauty]

I mean the way you wrote this it was slightly comical. Horses leaning on each other and these old men who can barely walk think they are gonna ride them 🙄🙄🙄 real but humorous at the same time

[John the Baptist]

Well, even heroes grow old like the rest of us. I wonder if the Lone Ranger wears Depends. I wonder if he will be able to take Silver with him to assisted living. I wonder what "Kemosabe" means.

[Dave Brown]

Dear John;
You seem to have been inclined to plunder, the word asunder, allowing it to wander quite far and asunder.
BTW, I have heard that 'Kemosabe' is Lakota for butthead!!

[John the Baptist]

Thanks, Dave. That makes sense.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Dave.. my Grandpa Dave and my uncle Spence ❤️ loved the Western Movies especially the Lone Ranger… and the Stories are embedded in my 💜 Heart forever… as are yours… Amen. Pat

[Thomas W Case]

Very well crafted. Excellent work.

[Dave Brown]

your cheque is in the mail