Christmas

I recognized him right away

Because he walked slightly lame

Someone had once told me

Dancer was his name

 

Apparently, he'd been a dancer

But he’d had a slight goof

While doing a reverse pirouette

He’d badly twisted a hoof

 

No longer able to dance

Being unable to earn his bread

Until along came a sympathetic Santa

Who hired him to help pull his sled

 

While getting to know a new neighborhood

Dancer wandered into our house

Sat in my easy chair

Surprising myself and my spouse

 

Then walked into the kitchen

Helped himself to a hot coffee 

Then back to my easy chair

To enjoy, while watching TV

 

From there to the bathroom

Where he climbed into the tub

Asking if I wouldn’t mind

Giving his sore back a real scrub

 

Then a spot in our bed

Just seemed to happen his way

Which was where he fell asleep

With our little white dog, DJ

 

Both lay on their backs

With feet up in the air

With all eight legs running

Involved in the same nightmare

 

Eventually, Santa came to get him

Which I really didn’t mind

He being back in my easy chair

Was especially easy to find

 

Each year, my how the time flies

A present comes from the flying crew

I’m pretty sure its Dancer’s way

Of saying, Merry Christmas to you

And you…and you…and you…………..)

(....................................................)

 

 

Pushing, straining, only just moving

A shopping cart, which held all they own

Moving inch by inch

Toward the ragged tent they call home

 

On a hard bench by a cold seashore

We each exchanged a hello

A cold wind blew as she told me

She had no where else to go

 

He was just a young guy

With his head in no-man’s-land

Barely holding onto the railing

Hardly able to stand

 

Lying on a cold concrete walkway

With nowhere else to go

An ancient, helpless, elderly homeless

An ambulance, finally took into tow

(...................................................................) 

 

A pill popping Santa, being old and tired

Suffering from Arthritis and some seizures

A urostomy and nephrostomies from bladder cancer

Resulting in a dozen or so ongoing procedures

 

The Reindeer had also aged badly

Even Rudolph’s nose had faded to pink

With sleigh and accessories nearly worn out

Santa’s enthusiasm was right on the brink

 

Just too pooped to handle Xmases hassle

Santa contacted “Rent-a-Clause” incorporated

However, when Mrs. Clause heard about that

Her heated response was colorfully X-rated

 

Things change unfortunately, such is life

With Santa intending a permanent pause

“Rent-a-Clause,” in their professional manner

Offered to take up the Santa Clause, cause

 

Then, in a last second turnabout by Pfizer

A ‘Make Santa young again’ vaccine was developed

Not just a rebirth for weary old, ancient Santa

But his Reindeer and all else were re-enveloped

 

With Santa’s ageing issues no longer a strain

X-mas has returned to how it’ll always remain

Everything’s returned to normal flying again

With Pfizer putting Christmas in the fast lane

 

Santa, out for a test flight, early night

Had crash landed neath our mistletoe

It being in our livingroom he’d ended his flight

With his sleigh no longer able to go

Instead of leaving lotsa presents

Santa had helped himself to my booze

And when he saw me approaching

Said he enjoyed the kina booze I choose

 

Alongside the sleigh they were using for balance

His Reindeer were also bashing back my brew

With Rudolph’s nose shinning extra brightly

Who also burbled out a ‘Merry Christmas 2 U’

 

Explaining it had been a hard training flight

And they’d just stopped for a refreshing break

Thinking that downing some bita bubbly

Wouldn’t cause nobody no kinda heartache

 

I was glad to be able to return some of their love

With beer prices nearly causing an insurrection

Although, when they did leave full of Xmas cheer

They were heading in the wrong direction

 

Reviews

[Pete]

... and we thought it was easy being santa. appropriately cute and clever. merry xmas dave ... :)

[Dave Brown]

Thanks Pete
Hope you have a good one

[Stu. T.H.]

Merry Christmas, author Dave Brown. May the spirit of the season accompanies your jolly days.
- Dan Rastley.

[Dave Brown]

and to you