Rum & Jack

Baby, you taste like the Jack my momma let me sip

And your soul is warm like the rum she'd cut it with

Won't you sing me to sleep like she used to

With the voice that could cut diamonds, it's so sincere

Darling, you should whisper sweet things in my ear

I can smell the honey from her breath long ago

Your warm voice crawling up my neck

Is that your hand I feel tightly grasping my vocal chords

You smell like the nights I spent sneaking out my window

I can feel the taboo high like a tobacco paradise lost in nicotine

Feeling young and bold, a feeling I used to know

And a feeling I grew to regret as I felt the back of her hand

Could you hold me against your chest, tell me I'm safe

That you'll protect me with your lips so soft and fierce

As we begin having drinks at half past noon

Admiring the smell of Rum and Jack like its your perfume

Keep me warm as I lay beside your beating heart

Holding my inner inhibitions so close and dear

Like you're cradling a homesick child at a lost with his memory

All while seeing the abyss stuck frozen in my longing stare

Baby, you taste like the Jack my momma let me sip

And your soul is warm like the rum she'd cut it with

Won't you sing me to sleep like she used to

With the voice that could cut diamonds, it's so sincere

Reviews

[Randolph]

I couldn't disagree more with JohsDavidburg. The guy's got f****n Pinhead for his profile pick. I have a feeling that he really shouldn't be throwing immaturity bombs at anyone.
You kicked this pieces a*s, and make no mistake. The first (and obviously last) stanza do exactly what they are meant to do. I find it beautiful. I find it real. Thank you.

[David-Tyler]

Thank you! I'm really happy to hear you enjoyed the read so much!

[Davidgeo]

Eh, too "emo teenaged angst" style for my taste. The tone is akin to what I used to find in my teenaged sisters diary way back in the day. The nostalgia/romance aspect doesn't work when it just seems like you want to tell everyone how "cool" you are and how you drank and smoked at a young age. It comes off as a cheesy and "try hard".

The writing's fine but the intellectual content is sophomoric and clichéd (at best).