Action Sequence (Kane vs. Colonel Haven)

I just wanted to pit a couple of my characters one on one. It'll be longer, I just throught I'd post what I have.

Kane stepped forward, floor boards creaking beneath his deceptive weight. He wore the dress uniform of a Notarian Captain. His full length overcoat was of deepest blue, trimmed along the sleeves, cuffs, and neck in white. The buttons were of polished bone. Soft ropes of white crossed his chest over dozens of golden and silver medals that hung on his right breast.
        His right sleeve hung empty. Limping heavily on that same side, he lurched forward, drawing a long elegant service rapier with his left hand. He raised the blade before him in mock salute. His young eyes were wild; one dark brown, the other sanguine.
        "Put away your sword." Colonel Haven said with disgust. "I don't have time for insubordination, Kane. We have more important issues at hand."
        "The issue stands between you and me." Kane said, flashing his teeth. "You're a traitor to your country. You're a traitor to the King, and to the Army. And I used to think you were cool."
         "Cool?" The Colonel puzzled. "Enough of your silly jargon. Throw that weapon aside pup."
        With a snarl, Kane lunged over the table, the older man barely sidestepping his thrust. Thus engaged, the Colonel drew his saber, and kicked the table over, forcing Kane back. He then leaped over, sword trailing, and swung wide at the boy's throat. Kane recoiled, the tip of the saber missing his skin by inches, then with a flick of his wrist, his blade acted like a whip, curving to find the top of the Colonel's sleeve, and tearing the rank from his uniform.
        Colonel Haven pressed forward, the two meeting steel on steel. Kane shoved him back, letting up a moment, allowing the Colonel's blade to slip past him, then trapping his wrist under his arm. With a twist of his torso he shook the saber from the Colonel's hand, then head butted him in the face, released his grip, and kicked him so soundly in the chest that the old man flew back, flipping upside down over the table.
        Kane stood a moment, catching his breath. For what seemed like minutes, he could hear nothing behind the table. He started forward, the clicking and whirring of tiny gears in his right leg reverberating through his bones and up to his ears. Just when he came near enough to see over the table he heard a strange high pitched sound, like that of a zipper being pulled up.
        By instinct he threw himself back, sword held at angle before his face as a furious force passed over him. The table fell into pieces. Then with a creaking cacophony, the bookshelves against the back wall began to fall forward, thousands of thick volumes crashing to the floor.
        The Colonel stood, the top half of his uniform shredded almost completely away. His bare arms were wrapped in wire, as was his chest and torso. Even his throat bore a silver noose of thin steel. He glared at Kane from across the room, then slowly raised his arms forward, and snapped them down.
        The air seemed to shimmer to either side, and a sharp crack sounded before the chandeliers fell from the ceiling. Kane rolled to his right, shattered glass raining down upon him, leaving tiny cuts across his pale face, and peppering his short brown hair.
        Before he could recover, the Colonel swung both his arms lazily to the right, and whipped them down to his left. Kane had just enough time to raise his blade as the razor thin wires lashed across the room. Pain erupted in his left arm as the fabric of his sleeve and his flesh were sliced open simultaneously. He dropped his sword, the blade falling into three pieces before it struck the floor.

        "You were stupid to challenge me pup." Colonel Haven said. "Everything you have, you owe to me. Your rank, your reputation, your friends...everything you have, you have because I assigned it to you. Did you actually think you could accomplish something without my consent?"
Kane forced himself back to his feet, blood dripping from his left arm. He reached into his coat, drawing his pistol, but the Colonel was too quick. With a snap of his wrist, a wire shot out and snatched the weapon from Kane's hand.
"Oh come now. At least do me the honor of your full potential." Colonel Haven glanced at Kane's empty right sleeve. "Great pains were taken to give you that arm and leg. You think you're clever to hide them, but I know your secret, so why are you pretending?"
"You're right." Kane agreed, Undoing the buttons of his coat and letting it fall to the floor. "I was pretending."
He straightened himself, the heavy leather belted harness around his torso creaking as he used his left hand to undo the straps that held his mechanical arm in place behind his back. With an unnatural motion, he brought it around, letting the hand and forearm rotate complete circles.
"There, don't you feel better." The Colonel said with a grin. "Now how about a demonstration?"
        "I was thinking the same thing." Kane said, lunging forward with renewed vigor.
        The Colonel spun to the side, threads of silver twirling around his body. Kane moved around him, finding a large section of the broken table and hurling it like a boomerang, barely missing his aim and sticking the flat section of wood into the wall. He then sprinted over to the long desk between the ruined shelves and gripped it with his steel fingers so tightly that the wood splintered.
        The air cracked again as the Colonel took aim at the ceiling, and Kane pulled the massive desk around. With some effort, he balanced the weight and lifted the desk overhead, then hurled it sidelong across the room with such force that it smashed through the arched doorway. Colonel Haven swung across the room like an acrobat, wires stuck in the rafters, and spilled a spiraling hurricane of wire down around Kane before turning lazily in the air and landing hard.
        Kane struggled, the wires tightening around his chest, cutting deeply into his left arm. He grunted loudly, falling to the ground and rolling to his left, unwinding some of the deadly web. The Colonel attempted to pull it tight again, but Kane launched a volume of World History at his head, buying just enough time to stand up again. He then raised his mechanical arm and spun his hand, winding the wires tightly around his wrist, before jerking hard to his right. The Colonel flew a few feet through the air, but held his footing, until Kane stepped back and used the line to hurl him across the room.
        The old soldier sailed through the air, the wires around his arms going slack for a moment, then snapping tight again as Kane changed direction, and began to spin him around in a wide circle. Kane swung high, tossing the Colonel almost to the ceiling, then smashed him down against the floor.

Author's Note

They might never fight in the book, but I don't think I need a reason to do this.

Reviews

[Hawksmoor]

"The action just flows, you're a freaking creative genius"... I FULLY agree with Nicole.

Your active description is unbelievable, man. Seriously, now and again I'll read a piece by an "amateur author", and think "Why in God's unpronounceable name isn't this person somewhere on the New York Times Best Sellers List?"

I swear, man...you get published and you've got one fan for life.

I SAW this as I read it. I f****n SAW it.

Your range is increasing by the day.

Bravo, dude. Seriously, bravo.

There are so many things I greatly enjoyed about this that if I were to sit here and write them all out, I'd be here all day.

As I said before, Science Fiction suits you greatly. I'll be reading this again. I know it. Probably several times. I can see that your military experience gave you an astounding eye for combat of all sorts.

Hawksmoor...From The Bleed.

[Nicole Hellene]

"You're a traitor to your country. You're a traitor to the King, and to the Army. And I used to think you were cool."

Ahahahahah Oh Captain, my Captain, you are no longer hip.

Jeez I can see the action as its happening, I don't know much about technical swordfighting and yet I'm able to see your fight scene just like I'm watching it live. The action just flows, you're a freaking creative genius, and god you didn't even use any fancy fencing terms or anything. Leave this up, I will pretty much be studying this piece vigilantly. *Bowing, bowing*.

Quick question, did you take any sort of live swordplay lessons or do you just read lots of sword novels?