Crimson Seduction

Crimson Seduction
What is pain?
Loneliness? Heartache? Depression?
What is destruction,
but the sweet seduction,
of your dreams?
The sanctuary you have created,
Lost, alone, and sedated?
Or is it physical?
Loss of breath,
Heart fluttering in your chest,
Near death?
Self-inflicted marks,
long pink scars,
molding who you are?
Or is it something more?
Dark stain across your soul?
Hatred and rage battling fear?
Loneliness too deep,
so as to shed not a tear?
To never weep?
To laugh away the dark?
To lose all hope,
every spark?
To look in the dark and see,
naught but a friend in me?
Is that pain?
Crimson tears mingling with rain?
The blackness inside,
swelling with all he tears not cried?
I don't know,
but if so,
I hurt.

Reviews

[LacyKay]

Loss of breath,
Heart fluttering in your chest,
Near death?

It's a beautiful work, and I loved reading it. Keep up the wonderful writing! You have such a talent, and it is always a true pleasure reading the amazing things you write. I can't wait to read them all! It may take a while but I'll get there. ;-)

[Ashentara]

My favourite lines are
What is destruction,
but the sweet seduction,
of your dreams?
The sanctuary you have created,
Lost, alone, and sedated?

dark and so sexy and so well written.. well done!!! I love your work I really do.

[Matt Shutler]

Excellent job!
The imagery and symbolism is great and you bring up a lot of really deep and good questions.
It is dark but that really makes it better.
Great poem.

[Natalie C]

Omg, all those questions! Wonderfully dark, filled with perfect vivid images you painted so accurately with your brilliant words! I wish I could pin point a favorite part of the poem for me, but I can't, I love the whole piece.

However, I really liked your ending, where you so almost casually state, ok well if all that is so, then I do hurt. Wonderful.

Really loved this. I am definitely saving this one!

[Fantasyfairy]

Amazingly dark poem, sounds like something I would write lol. It is so beautiful, and full of confusion. I love the questions in it. I love it hun, I d have a little advice that you may or may not wish to follow, hope it helps;

"long pink (scar)," This may sound better if you add an s, so it reads scars, in plural, instead of one.

"To look in the (darkness) and see," I would change darkness to dark, it would help the whole thing flow a little better.

"Crimson tears (mingling) with rain?" Try changing mingling, with mingled hun, may sound better.

[Flamewind]

Very nice. Quite dark, but in a good way. I love the way you use questions to accentuate the poem. Um... from the title (by the way, great title) I inferred the poem is of the viewpoint of a vampire or other creature of darkness. Much love to it, either way...
-Flamewind