Suicide Waiting to Happen

Suicide Waiting to Happen
I stand so still,
voices crowd my ears.
I close my eyes,
silent cries that no one hears!
Then I fall down,
passing through the sky;
land on the ground,
now these broken wings can't fly.
The cars drive passed.
My blood seeps out.
This breath is my last.
They don't hear my dying shout!
Even though I am broken,
I lay perfectly still;
each sign a token,
of my battle of will.
As I look around,
why don't they see?
I'm not safe and sound.
There's death inside of me!
Inside myself,
broken I reside.
A clean bill of health,
but only on the outside.
I just ignore,
what the doctors have said.
No one to implore,
but on the inside I'm dead!
I'm dead!
Even though I am broken,
I lay perfectly still;
each sign a token,
of my battle of will.
My power of will,
there's death inside of me!
I'm dead!
I'm dead.

Reviews

[KAREN BROWN]

this poem is overwelming but true,sometimes on the outside were ok but in the inside we feel dead,for whatever reason that made us feel this why. thank you for sharing this great write a lot of feelings in this.

[thecoolone52]

fighting with your inner self always a hard topic to let your guard down in... you did a wondeful job yelling out your feelings in this one..... tubular write!!!

[Misa]

I love it. I love the power of your words. How it feels to be dead inside even though your fully living. This is one of my favorite poems I have seen. I love the aura just almost everything about it is good.
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Check out my first chapter please^^

[Kimmee Jean]

i love it...the grim aura it gives out...love it!

[.]

WOW! This is extremely filled with emotion, and it truly moved me so much. The expressions you've presented; I can totally relate to them. I've felt these feelings so much. I couldn't of said this better. You are so awesome hehe. Also, my deepest sympathies to you and family in the loss of your Grandma; I'm so very sorry, that so sucks. However, I really do, indeed, love your work. Very genuine. I felt every word :) *Hugs*

Take Care,

Mikey

[King Pooface]

Pretty good. I'm happy it was a suicide song not involving cutting your wrists, so for that I give you five thousand thumbs up. I could see this piece being presented with some guitar static in the background (kind of like somebody preparing to play) and a man presenting this, shouting certain lines as if angry. Nice song. Great visuals.

[Leigh]

excellent poem, you just wrote what i could never say for lack of words or fear of rejection.

[Fantasyfairy]

A powerful cry for help, when no one ever hears. It's a nice poem, (if any poem can be called on this subject, hmmm) I like the way the poem matches the title, when so many others titiles never match the work, and you wonder why they called it that in the first place. This has good structure, I like the way its written and worded. The end shows almost a sign of defiance, it screams out, and then ends. Just like as suicide victim. Well done XX