Father's City

Dad,

You took me to the city.

But everyone was angry,

Everyone was fake,

Everyone was hurried,

Everyone was tired.

Dad,

You tried to find the house you used to live in.

But it was gone

Replaced with another.

You took me to your school, 

Full of people neither of us know,

People neither of us want to know.

Yo took me to your favorite ice cream shop.

I ordered something with chocolate malt powder;

You ordered something with a cherry on it.

It was fake.

Dad, 

I can't forget the time you took me to your city.

You tried to show me the past, your past.

But like the past, you'll be gone someday.

And I'm sorry, but I still won't be ready.

Reviews

[Sandr]

This is really touching and sad. I feel like this poem is very relatable as many people fear the loss of loved ones. Still this poem seems to go even deeper than that as it tells of the loss of a past that people often wish they could go back to. Great poem!

[Jenig]

This may be a great poem, and filled with emotion. This leaves me sad. However, it's posted as a story. If you place it as a "poem," people who know poetry will be able to critique it more accurately. I'm not good at reviewing poetry, I feel it's like artwork: it's about what the viewer sees, not just about what the artist portrays. Good job writing, very poignant.

[Moving Mass]

Thank you for your review, Jenig. I thought I had posted it as a poem, but I guess I was mistaken. Thank you, I wouldn't have caught that!