Petaurus

sleeping for

6

hours pounds in the back

and the sides of my head and

forces my eyes

staring open and wide,

so wide,

too wide and big like a sugar glider's

I scarf pastries at breakfast

and slurp cherry coke at lunch

to keep my stomach from

growling

with syrup and crumbs between

my fingers freezing into

patagium

I fall from the exhaustive city heights

into torpor, dark and sweet

Reviews

[Cory Barrett]

This is good, like real good, and let me tell you why i think this.

I read this at 5 pm today. It is now 11 pm, and I have read this poem at least 30 times. It pushed me. I did not know what a petaurus was (not a clue), i did no know what patagium meant, I had never heard the word torpor. So, like any self respecting American with internet capabilities... i googled them all. I don't want to spoil it for others, but seeing a picture of a sugar gliders brought it all together.

This piece is strong in so many ways. The single word lines are striking and forceful; as a single world line should be. Very well chosen words beginning each sentence as well. There are some obvious choices that are bold, but the one that catches of guard is the seventh line "too". I never realized how strong the word "too" was. Such a common word that when used correctly conjures immediate thoughts of painful excess.

I want to go one saying how much i enjoy the entire metaphor, and it really is brilliant, but i feel like the strength in writing on this piece out weighs my comments. Great writing. I have read a few other pieces of yours that have used precise wording, but this one takes the cake.

[DaughterNature]

Wow. Thank you so much. Your review brought a big smile to my face. I think it means a lot that you read it so many times and found it so powerful, because I wrote it when I wasn't in a very good place and I wasn't sure it was any good, maybe just rambling. Thank you!

[Cory Barrett]

this is still my favorite.... i just love it.

[Frank]

Good poem, captures a mood, a bad day, dieting and the stress of modern living.

[DaughterNature]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

[Einstein Noodle]

what a treat! had to look up Petarus then your poem took flight for me .. i read that the sugar glider's name from Latin (Petaurus breviceps) means "short-headed rope-dancer" .. how cool is that!! those last four lines are very emotive ... i suffered the day through sugar buzzes and escape migraines with caffeine .. then ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! sweet release ... gliding into torpor ..
enjoyed the language and lessons on flying ..great stuff!
E.

[DaughterNature]

Isn't it fun? I love the 'strange' animals in nature, and anything like Petarus deserves a poem, at least!

[Einstein Noodle]

absolutely ... treasure troves in abundance!! :)