The Council

           As dusk crept down into the forest the chipmunk ceased his food gathering with a fearful heart.  He crept from beneath his boulder and scurried up the hill through the leaves.  Although he had never been summoned by the Forest Council before, The chipmunk guessed they would not be pleased if he were tardy. 

            A ring of ancient gnarled apple trees, planted there by a farmer long ago before the forest reclaimed the land, marked the boundary of the Apple Swamp.  The ground formed high grassy hillocks between which ran mud and rivulets of water.  The chipmunk looked up furtively to see the first evening star shone piercingly bright in the clear darkening sky.

            Although the moon had not yet risen the chipmunk’s keen eyesight allowed him to distinguish the Council in the gathering darkness.  The Forest Council consisted of a large group of mostly large animals.  Two members represented each species, one of each gender.

            Moose, the largest, with their big, deep-brown eyes and awkwardly beautiful bodies, the bull with his giant antlers coated in velvet.  Deer, smaller, with graceful bodies and sharp hooves, the buck sporting miniature replicas of the bull’s massive display.  Coyotes and Foxes side by side, sharp faces and smooth bodies, bushy tails bristling.  Black Bears, enormous animals composed entirely of tightly coiled muscle.  Bobcats, Opossums and Squirrels with their vastly different tails, Skunks with their distinctive markings, as well as all the other mammals.  Birds, Reptiles and Amphibians there were also, too numerous to mention.  Bats squeaked from a branch overhead as the chipmunk crept cautiously into the circle, every eye critical upon him.

            As a body, the Council glanced up sharply at a rustling from above. A form appeared on the branch overhead, alternating vertical bars of silver and black shifting like shadows, great brown eyes like deep dark stars.

Reviews

[Bare Trees]

I've read all three chapters and you write very well. My only qualm is that each chapter suffers from over-description. This has a tendency to bog down the story making it a chore to read. I also noticed --ing and --ly words jumping out at me a lot. Perhaps if others read each chapter they will have a different opinion. Still good writing though.

[DaughterNature]

Thank you! I know, I love the outdoors so much that I just wanted to paint a picture with my writing, but sometimes I definitely go overboard. As I continue this story (haven't worked on it in several years), I will definitely pare down the amount of description.