Angry Girlfriend’s Rummage Sale

This poem was an exercise in writing in the villanelle form, and was inspired by an odd conversation.

Stuff strewn across the sidewalk tells their tale:

she sells his things with unrelenting hate,

having an angry girlfriend’s rummage sale.

 

His video games sit stacked like bread gone stale.

Sports trophies show the rivals that he beat.

Stuff strewn across the sidewalk tells their tale.

 

His boxers, jeans, and t-shirts tied in bales

with ball caps, sneakers, jackets " going cheap,

all at an angry girlfriend’s rummage sale.

 

His mix CDs spread out like shining scales

across his futon, strained so much it squeaks.

Stuff strewn across the sidewalk tells their tale.

 

A necklace bought to seal the bond so frail

Discarded under photos smiling sweet,

all at an angry girlfriend’s rummage sale.

 

You know by now how badly their love failed:

he foolishly gave in and chose to cheat.

Stuff strewn across the sidewalk tells their tale,

having an angry girlfriend’s rummage sale.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think of how the idea is translated in the poem! Remember that the villanelle form uses the rhythm and rhyme schemes I employed!

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i get the rhythm and rhyme ... the repetition is there and the angst of a cheated woman ... without more study i can say no more but have much respect for any effort within these walls ... and i like it ... the form gives it a lot of power in and of itself says i... would love to know about the Odd conversation that inspired you ... i presume i am watching from across the street and i think she has kicked his butt since he left so many possessions there ..good for her ... cheaters never win ;)
E.

[DaughterNature]

The conversation was between myself and my husband, he was telling me a story about witnessing what he called the "angry girlfriend yard sale" because she was selling all stuff that presumably belonged to a guy, but there was no man at the house... Whoops!

[Einstein Noodle]

:)
plus ten more characters
E.

[m.s.early]

The failed relationship and the scorn is transmitted excellently. The fact that she's selling trophies, unmentionables, personal effects illustrates the scorn. The two years necklace acknowledges the commitment that would be supposed of such a time frame. She can be safely assumed betrayed, otherwise such a momentum would be endeared rather than hocked. So I was a little deflated with the matter-of-fact declarative in the last verse that I though could have been narrated more descriptively.

This is the first Villanelle form I've seen on here. Kudos!

[DaughterNature]

Is the matter-of-fact declarative the way I describe that he cheated? I did think about trying to say it more cleanly, but with the way the form is, it's very difficult. Perhaps I will consider a revision!