The Prayer

Dear God,
Are you listening?
I have questions and
only you have the answers.
Questions like why am I here?
Why am I dealing with all this pain?
How am I supposed to deal with it?

Is the razor my only friend? 

Why do I feel so much hurt and pain? 

Would anyone miss me if I was gone? 

I tried playing for your team.

Its hard when the devil is the coach. 

I held the razor to my throat and asked 

yet you were silent or did not believe in me.

What am I doing wrong?
Again I ask are you there?
Yet I hear nothing but silence.
What is the point of all this?
Where do I belong in this life?
Your the last person I am going to ask.
They say follow your light in the dark
but I have lived in the darkness
for so long I don't know if there is one.
I don't want or need a church just a family 

I don't need religion all I need is faith
This could be the last time I reach out.
I can't keep trying if your not there.
Where were you when I needed love?
I want to keep reaching but I feel noting
I hear nothing but silence.
I fear no one can hear my cries for help
and that this prayer is in vain