The Vow

I thought I promised myself 

that this would not happen again 

yet here I sit with you by my side 

clenched in my hand oh so tight 

missing you now more than ever 

is this really what it comes to

why do I want this so bad 

does my reality suck this much 

am I ready for the slicing 

the digging in to my skin 

the blood flowing like a raging river 

a sea of red covering my arm 

I vowed this would not happen 

yet the sink stained with red 

I have broken my vow and 

now feel like utter crap 

is this really what I have to do 

just to feel something in life 

and not be numb and paralyzed

this promise I made has been  broken 

how my heart is saddened 

this day shall always be remered 

as the day I broke my vow not to cut