Many generations ago Earth was nearly destroyed by an apocalypse of sorts. Meteors rain down from the beyond killing Earth’s inhabitants, and changing its landscape. Almost every major city on the planet was destroyed, and if not destroyed it was crippled. The humans that survived adapted and began anew from scratch. The Church Of The One True said that God was angry at how corrupt humans became, and so he punished the world, letting loose his wrath. He felt that we could change, and now he gives us a chance to redeem ourselves. The church gave men hope and a leader rose above the squabble. He was named king and president. With a king and the church leading, the survivors began to prosper. Even now, centuries later the effects of apocalypse can still be felt. Some have found themselves with supernatural abilities. The church deemed these physics the chosen of God at one time, but now that has all changed.
Hm sound familiar I wonder were I heard it from. XD
But it sounds pretty good so far. The only problem is in the last sentence were it says “but now that is all changed.” I believe “Is” should be “has.” Good intro though
This was an interesting Epilogue...I like ur plot so far...I think about stuff like this every once in a while so it was intriguing to find that you decided to write a book on it...I would like to move on but I am the creator of Imaginations Running Wild and I have a lot of catching up to do...Anyway thank you for sharing and good luck with your writing :)
By the way I think I saw one error:
"Meteors rain down from..." ---> It should be "rained down..."
First, let me state that this makes me curious enough to read further and it has the makings of a rather decent story. But there are some flaws that need to be fixed. The grammar needs to be cleaned up and when talking about the past make sure you're using the correct tense. Short prologues are fine, but if you're going to use one, make it long enough or impactful enough to count. That being said, the very first sentence almost made me not want to read on. It seemed like a clumsy sentence. Also, already I have the impression in my mind of something similar to V for Vendetta, at least concerning the government. It's a workable idea, may not be close to what you plan to do, but draw me in. Make it intense. Make it visceral even. Hell, offend the ever loving s**t out of me. Now, I know I came off as a bit harsh, but I think you have something that could be quite good. Just needs a bit of elbow grease.
You have some grammatical problems here.
*rain should be rained in the second sentence.
*you switched persons several times.
*A random "he" who was named king and president out of nowhere was not identified at all.
*few missing commas, but not too terrible on that note.
Otherwise, the prologue's not bad. Short and sweet. I'm not hooked, but I'm not necessarily put off, either.
I think this is a great intro, it gets the reader hooked in right away. I think it's a little choppy at some points but it doesn't really take away from the basic outline of the story which sounds really interesting. Good job :3
This was a good intro.I know this because mine always suck hardcore...
But this has a little foreshadowing,its short and simple and it gets you interested.I should totally take pointers from you.
Yo whats up people! I'm a 19 year old class clown from Texas. I've recently gotten into writing and I'm trying to get better at it. I'm better at telling stories orally, but hey I got start at some po.. more..