R.I.P. Jordan

R.I.P. little brother I want you to know that I miss you~ I miss when played in the rain~ I wanna kiss you~When you died you took more than half of me with you~ Nothing followed after me but alot of stupid issues~I didnt want to change~Because when you looked down at me from heaven I wanted to be tha same~ To alot of people I seem more than a little strange~But its part of my charm and most see it that way~lil brother u were perfect I found myself jealous you were glowing~ I know now that you were a angel wrapped in human clothing~ I still wear heart on sleeve like i did back then~ Because of your memory and the way we used to play~I wish had taken me me instead because I would have given myself if it meant that you could stay~I'm glad that i will neva get to see ur heart broke~even though i think i could fix it with a really good joke~ I would have taught about girls~ and i would had made sure you weren't touched by this corrupted world~ My true face is something that you and a select few will see~ the scowl on my face is for my enemies~ I will love you always and forever~ so dont forget about me your loving older brother.
R.I.P. Jordan
Some day i will come for you so please wait for me.

Reviews

[Eternally Elemental]

One word for it: Real.

You couldn't doubt or take anything away from this piece of writing, because it was more real than anything.
Visions of better times, when your little brother was still alive. Beautiful images, that makes the reader smile, because that is how he passed on. He passed on with good memories in your mind.
You couldn't offer more to him than yourself, and that is what you have already done. You have offered your position in place of his.
True enough, and thankfully, you never have to see him suffer anything this world does. And such a sweet line of telling a joke to cheer him up. That is a good picture of two brothers.

You had a rhyme, an urban feel. True in real language. Very touching and very beautiful tribute.
A really beautiful piece Darruesh.

[Ranger Nadaly]

This piece gives you a heavy feeling, kind of stuck to you like glue. Powerful.

[Aimee Mahathy]

Wow, this is really sweet. =]
I could feel the emotion pouring out of every word you wrote here. It tugged at my heartstrings with its almost unforgiving blunt truth... such sweet, soft -real- emotion.
This is perfect!
*applause*

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful description of how you miss your brother. Could feel the sadness and yearning to be with him. He would be proud you remember him. I lost three brothers. I have the same prayer for them to wait for me.
Coyote